Except Really I've Been Mean

[mallorys_camera]

RTT got into New Paltz. His father informs me that New Paltz is generally ranked as the hottest small public university in the U.S. and I see it shows up 7th on Newsweek’s list of the top 25 school, just behind Harvard, Tulane and Bates.

That said – and no mistake, I love the kid – I am really fucking sick of this mothering gig. Mother seems to be some M16 code for chauffer and maid.

Last night he missed his bus. He didn’t tell me he missed his bus until I had already driven out to his bus stop, four miles distance from Rural Squalor Central. So, a wasted trip and of course, I had to drive out again for the next bus. Big fucking deal, you’re thinking. Petty, petty, petty. Eight miles. But unfortunately when gas is $4 a gallon and I’m so broke I can’t afford to tune up my car, eight miles really is a big deal. Then at four this morning one of the animals woke me up growling for water and I just fucking lost it – kicked the offender, then burst into tears. This is what it’s come to, I thought. Animal abuse. Elder abuse, really. In 20 years I’ll be in some kind of home and some NA will slap me across the face when I beg for water.

I feel totally invisible, like the real me is off enjoying a beach vacation on Alpha Cenauri and can’t be bothered to write home. Yesterday I smiled at some random stranger – I actually look at people on the street, part of my perpetual search for my true telepathic clan, doncha know (cf. Rebirth) – and he stopped for a second and said, “You have the kindest, most beautiful eyes” – and I thought, That guy is probably the only person who’s really seen me on two and a half years.”

"Of course it's still the fallout from the store," says B. "Are you kidding me? You poured everything you had into that store."

"I'd have been better off buying eightballs and heroin," I said. "At least that way I would have had some fun."

On the plus side, this beautiful Day-of-the-Triffids-like spring continues apace. Yesterday, I saw forsythia. And a tulip! And I'm enjoying the tax stuff and of course, my Tibetans.

Enough blathering. Time to work.

Comments

[old-cutter-john.livejournal.com]

New Paltz! My favorite place to hang out in the whole world (http://mohonkpreserve.org/) is right near there! Maybe he'll get into rock climbing.

[mallorys-camera.livejournal.com]

He basically gets into whatever his cohorts get into it. I've never met someone who was as... porous as RTT, or more of an extrovert, or had more self-confidence. (I can take credit for only the last of those three qualities.) So if he ends up going there, yeah, rock climbing, mountain biking, general partying.

[anais-pf.livejournal.com]

If he had the opportunity to call and didn't, I would have let him walk home. Or so I think; I've never had an actual child.

[mallorys-camera.livejournal.com]

Oh, I would have loved to make him walk home. But when you're a Mom, You. Just. Can't. :-(

[anais-pf.livejournal.com]

I know parents who would have made him walk. But they are fathers, not moms. Walking four miles surely would have been an incentive to call the next time. Ah well, he'll just have to learn that lesson some other time in the future when you are no longer his chauffer.

[bandicoot.livejournal.com]

Kid looks like James Dean. Get him a movie role so you can live off him ;p

[mallorys-camera.livejournal.com]

Kid is very handsome indeed. It would be great to figure out a way to exploit that somehow although now that he's almost 18 I'm afraid I can't siphon off his income legally. Maybe a tell-all memoir?

[chezsci.livejournal.com]

Gets into top flight college, but can't (or won't) remember bus schedule. I feel your frustration.

[mallorys-camera.livejournal.com]

Spoken like a parent! :-)

[saltdawg.livejournal.com]

A.) As far as I can remember New Paltz has been one of the top "partying" school's for about a decade.
B.) Even so? I'm not saying I want RTT to end up like ME, but I drank my way through 5 years of college, and in a virtually unskilled marketplace, I make more per year than contemporaries who are frigging Lawyers; And write textbooks and shit. (Not bragging, just saying. everyone has their calling. and I'm REALLY good at my calling...There I go, Bragging again...)
C.) We all love your children and all, but (no offence) we love you more. Take your time for the next year, and then I can get you a job on a boat, so you can finally have some "peace". OK?

[mallorys-camera.livejournal.com]

I like it when you brag! :-)

Didn't know you write textbooks. So cool!

[saltdawg.livejournal.com]

Nonono! I don't write textbooks, my college-mates do.
Back in the day I could have. I really could have! But I'm so goddamn anti-intellectual now, it would be impossible.

[kdotdammit.livejournal.com]

"Mother seems to be some M16 code for chauffer and maid"

Hahahaha. It does get that way! BTW -- maybe I missed it in this post, but whose drawing is that?

[mallorys-camera.livejournal.com]

Illustration is mine. I do draw and paint, quite a lot actually -- which is one reason I was drawn to yr LJ. But this particular illustration is a Photoshopped digital. For some time now I've been obsessed with finding a way to do graphic novels that are Photoshopped from photographs rather than hand drawn. So I muck around with various techniques and settings, and this was one of the better results.