life math

Sep. 25th, 2017 07:17 pm
1spirit: (katz)
[personal profile] 1spirit
until you don't love, you cant hate
until you cant hate, you wont love

i fell out of the cloud of being in love. after that i was left alone with my own fear.

i brought myself out of fear by accepting myself. i later dove into hate.

this compromised my self-acceptance.

im now puzzling on the topic. i dont know what the future holds, but i think, i can never go back into the cradle of safety, security, and fear.

what comes to me is that i must dive further into self-acceptance.

i mustnt blame myself, i must accept attention, take action, and re-explore the arena of vulnerability.

i know we are infinite beings. my universe still has quite a few padded walls though-

i have this idea of who i am, and find myself lost in a meltingpot of dissimilar, yet congruent, stories. lines crossing on an xy axis of various variables to different powers with different constants. even the love/fear/hate conundrum requires at least a z axis to be added and possibly logarithms along one or more of them.

anyway! the clouds are cool at this evenings dusk. i want to take a walk to enjoy them but my foam pad is calling me to the kitchen floor.

i took a bike ride today. i meditate before bed. and in the mornings... i like to wake up early. i like listening to those frequency youtubes that sound like youre in a soundbath, and mantras.

ive been attempting to regularly write down my thoughts. life is currently part word-salad, physical activity, and job duties.

we were ping-ponging with the layer of words and of numbers. map that~

we are also going to move back to the noho dungeon. maybe theres another house not too far on the other side of that. i have no faith. but there is a church in noho i am interested in but havent attended because of the drive. a co-worker of mine said theres a cool yarn shop there, too.

(no subject)

Sep. 24th, 2017 04:47 pm
lycomingst: (persuasion)
[personal profile] lycomingst
Netflix The Martian )

Cat with thyroid condition made one more trip to the vet. Upping the medicine a little seems to have worked but he developed some sort of rash on his forehead. The vet said that she read that the stuff he’s taking could cause that but wow, she said, I’ve never seen it before. She was impressed. The rash seems scabbed over and fading so maybe that cat is done for a year or so. There’s still another to terrorize by taking it to the vet.

I made rolls using mashed potatoes, rolls and bread because you’re supposed to make the rolls in muffins tins but I only have one so I put the rest of the dough in a bread pan. First time making that recipe or any with potatoes and I declare them tasty.

Not so much for the sort of pancakes baked in the oven made with mashed potatoes. They were the trigger to start the whole potato festival but I tried to half the recipe and things went terribly, terribly wrong. I should have stuck with my mother’s putting an egg and some breadcrumbs in the mash and frying them up . Not gone with uppity ideas.

PBS is playing silly buggers with Dickensian. They showed one episode weeks ago, then nothing for a while, then showed several for two weeks (beginning with the first epi again) now nothing for two more weeks. Just like they’re CBS or ABC.

Also, the Republicans in Congress again want me dead.

Sunday, Sunday

Sep. 24th, 2017 02:26 pm
robby: (Default)
[personal profile] robby
 I weeded the vegetables a bit and, harvested okra and tomatoes. Soon I will pick a large number of big tomatoes and can them. The okra is past it's prime, and I have  beans and okra that I am now letting go to seed.

Cali is eating well and has some heft now, when I pick her up. I've read up about cat colonies, and three of the cats are sisters, and the fourth is Cali.  Generally related females form colonies, but it seems Cali has been admitted. The fifth cat is the male, and I believe he comes late at night, just to eat.

Now that the weather is cooler, Dinah had been spending lots of time out in the yard.

My Karma Ran Over My Dogma

Sep. 23rd, 2017 10:58 am
smokingboot: (Default)
[personal profile] smokingboot
In the year of my death,
You had croup and your mother
Made the last priest in Troy pray for your lungs.
I had left you both then
In a cave on a mountainside
While my treasure ships rolled heavy
And a knife waited at home.

In the year of my death
Carcassonne; that was interesting.
You mowed me down, of course,
Screaming about heretics
I recalled knowledge of swords
Before I had a womb
But all I had time to do was scream back.

In the year of my death,
The good ship De Montfort: I counted you in
Chained profit, somehow with diptheria
Which killed you all and lost me my deposit.
Landed in Liverpool with sweet nothing
But a blade some strumpet turned on me
Yelling I had abandoned her.

In the year of my death
Hamburg: I was a doctor
A pulmonary specialist with a patient
When I heard the humming overhead
You reached my home, I never did again.
Oh, I didn't know you then
But I knew your work.

In the year of my death
I break the mad wheel,
Bored with this, and as for you,
You must be sick of me!
I pick the tree to root around my bones
And sweep the air so that a world
Of strangers and you wake, forget me, breathe.

Mechanical Update

Sep. 21st, 2017 06:01 pm
robby: (Default)
[personal profile] robby
 My Nissan car wouldn't start Wednesday morning. I could jump start the car, which meant the battery was bad. I took out the battery, and went to the store. When the store reference for the replacement proved wrong, I wandered around the battery section and eventually found a battery with the same characteristics as the original. Better yet, my new battery was only $49.  Hooray for bargain auto repairs. The car starts again!


Sep. 21st, 2017 05:20 am
1spirit: (selfie)
[personal profile] 1spirit
why isnt the american dream portrayed on news, which is the real reality TV of america

people are dumbed down, told that their fate, healthwise, isnt actually in their own hands

we are taught that we'll die if we go without food for so long.

we are programmed that only a pill will cure a disease. its sickening

we are made to go to school, incur debt, and slave it off.

the lucky ones have parents who havent bought into this. and friends, even.

i have this nagging to create but i cant even put my thoughts together in space.

Key Lime Marmalade and Pomegranates

Sep. 19th, 2017 07:06 pm
robby: (Default)
[personal profile] robby
 I'm almost out of my own lemon marmalade, and this year's lemon crop is not ripe, so I bought 4 lbs of key limes and made about 3 quarts of marmalade to tide me over. The color is odd, but I think it will taste good. I've also been picking and eating pomegranates from a neighbor's tree. They seem like an unusual fruit, but now I've acquired a taste for them.

Garden Update

Sep. 18th, 2017 07:03 pm
robby: (Default)
[personal profile] robby
 My peppers are finally flowering. I got a late start with them, in part because I forget to sprout the seeds with additional heat. I'm harvesting tomatoes, beans and okra.The butternut squashisdoing well, but I won't harvest squash until November or December.

(no subject)

Sep. 17th, 2017 05:39 pm
lycomingst: (Default)
[personal profile] lycomingst
Netflix movie The Deep Blue Sea )

A quiet week in the neighborhood except for the car that ran into a house across the way. The other night about 2AM, I was about to turn off my light and go to sleep and I heard a thump, not a crash but more like when the garbage truck empties a dumpster. Then a guy is yelling, and I’m thinking it’s some kind of domestic fight. And he yells for a long time and after a while there’s cops and firefighters, and looking out the window I see a car up against a house. I live in a mobile home park and there’s a lane between houses that lets two cars pass. This car was on the wrong side of the road. Perhaps a little too much happy juice. The next morning I could see that a real job had been done on the house’s skirting. The owners have only restricted access for safety. That’s the third time a car has run into a house since I lived here.

I finished a book, And Furthermore by Judi Dench. Lots of anecdotes, nothing too deep but enjoyable. She had a fine time, thank you very much. She didn’t mention my favorite movie of hers, On Giant’s Shoulders which was actually a BBC play of the week. I have no recollection how I came across it.

I realized I saw her in a play, The Gay Lord Quex. I’d tell you how many years ago but I don’t want to scare you. I don’t remember her only Daniel Massey.

Meme:; Kitchen, favorite comfort food.

Well, my mother wasn’t a good cook, neither was my childhood home a place of comfort. So I don’t have any memories to go to.

But I’m not a good cook either but most any kind of pasta makes me happy.

Cat Compound

Sep. 16th, 2017 07:36 pm
robby: (Default)
[personal profile] robby
 Cali is feeling better, perhaps because the weather is cooler. She's grooming herself, and hanging out with the other cats. She even went into the other cat's inner sanctum to eat. The orange cat had a live mouse she was playing with, and Cali was watching it all with great interest. The cats have the fenced back yard to themselves, and even a nice patch of mowed grass to lay on.


Sep. 15th, 2017 06:57 pm
robby: (Default)
[personal profile] robby
 Cali feels good tonight, she's eating and hanging out with the other cats. I have some new canned cat food for her tomorrow. Halo had a new thing on the morning walk where he tries to go off by himself. He likes me insisting that he stays with us. Dinah likes the drama too. With coyotes around, we have to be in sight of each other. In other news, I loaded yet another plugin for my video streaming device. The underground world of free video is really volatile, and it takes some mad skillz to keep up. The people that recently bought preloaded boxes and are not hackers have been left behind.

A long time

Sep. 15th, 2017 05:58 pm
smokingboot: (Default)
[personal profile] smokingboot
I can't like this page as much as LJ, it just doesn't feel right.

And I have been so busy! Arranging the hen party, Rome, Bruges, France, Spain and now Turkey. I am beginning to wonder if my life's angel is showing me gorgeous places in case it's time to go...

Turkey was wonderful. I need to go there again, and find those underground cities. Oh but my dreams were strange... Dad striding into my room, angry with me for not telling him about the attack and supposedly stealing some necklace in vengeance, a dream in which I found one of my cats tormented by the far right and rescued it, another dream with me murdering someone and getting away with it, so cleverly that even the person implicated by my machinations couldn't be harmed; Smokingboot as The Talented Mr Ripley.

I am not at rest at all.

Territorial Dispute

Sep. 14th, 2017 08:53 am
robby: (Default)
[personal profile] robby
 We ran across the big coyote again, but saw it first, and quietly watched it for the longest time. When it finally noticed the three of us watching, it was unnerved, and went into the brush, but my dogs could still see it, and I knew where it was from watching the dogs. At a good distance, it came out and yipped at us. I answered each yip with a manly shout, and each time that I shouted, it would back up a little further. After about four yipping sessions it went away.


mallorys_camera: (Default)
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