Like the Man Says: You Live and You Suffer...

[mallorys_camera]

A man who was in love with me when I was 18 actually tracked me down on the Internet to send me four photographs he took of me in 1970. I promptly uploaded them to FB. No, not vanity – I just don’t want to lose them. I like this one the best because it makes me look an extra in an outtake from The Bicycle Thief.

It was the year I ran away to NYC and became a model. It’s so odd looking at these photos, remembering how obsessed I was at the time with not being skinny or beautiful enough. Literally – that was all I ever thought of: I’m not skinny enough! I’m not pretty enough!

I don’t know what I would tell this girl if I could travel backwards in time and talk to her. But I feel as though I should tell her something.

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In other news, I’m still feeling overwhelmed by world events – kind of as though I were a bug crawling up the wall of a burning building. RTT and I spent a very companionable day together yesterday watching episodes of Homicide – Life On the Streets and chatting about the lost city of Atlantis which may have been located near where Cadiz, Spain is today. It’s raining and all I want to do is curl up with my biography of Maugham and read. But I have a shitload of work to do. Sigh…

Comments

[jdquintette.livejournal.com]

Good god awmighty. Good thing Inever met you back then.

You'd have ruined me.:)

[mallorys-camera.livejournal.com]

Oh, I've seen those boyhood pix of you on FB! I'm sure you would have broken my little Italian neo-realist heart.

[jdquintette.livejournal.com]

Nonsense, you wouldn't have given me the time of day. When you were 18, I'd have just turned 17. I'd have been "just a boy" to you.

I'd have been the guy standing in the rain, watching you get into cars with the 25 year old "men" you were dating.