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mallorys_camera
A man who was in love with me when I was 18 actually tracked me down on the Internet to send me four photographs he took of me in 1970. I promptly uploaded them to FB. No, not vanity – I just don’t want to lose them. I like this one the best because it makes me look an extra in an outtake from The Bicycle Thief.
It was the year I ran away to NYC and became a model. It’s so odd looking at these photos, remembering how obsessed I was at the time with not being skinny or beautiful enough. Literally – that was all I ever thought of: I’m not skinny enough! I’m not pretty enough!
I don’t know what I would tell this girl if I could travel backwards in time and talk to her. But I feel as though I should tell her something.
In other news, I’m still feeling overwhelmed by world events – kind of as though I were a bug crawling up the wall of a burning building. RTT and I spent a very companionable day together yesterday watching episodes of Homicide – Life On the Streets and chatting about the lost city of Atlantis which may have been located near where Cadiz, Spain is today. It’s raining and all I want to do is curl up with my biography of Maugham and read. But I have a shitload of work to do. Sigh…
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Date: 2011-03-13 05:40 pm (UTC)You'd have ruined me.:)
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Date: 2011-03-14 11:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-14 01:32 pm (UTC)I'd have been the guy standing in the rain, watching you get into cars with the 25 year old "men" you were dating.
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Date: 2011-03-13 06:10 pm (UTC)Note to self: must read "Of Human Bondage" again, although Maugham always strikes me as rainy day reading. In a hammock on the veranda, the sound of a big river flowing and the occasional snap of a cayman's jaws breaking through the constant buzzing of insects. A pitcher of Gin Rickies on the side table and my man, Tiko fanning the flies and heat away from my personal space.
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Date: 2011-03-14 11:56 am (UTC)But, yes --- rainy day reading. And Of Human Bondage is really a strange book.
But I feel as though I should tell her something.
Date: 2011-03-13 06:18 pm (UTC)Re: But I feel as though I should tell her something.
Date: 2011-03-14 02:37 am (UTC)Re: But I feel as though I should tell her something.
Date: 2011-03-14 11:57 am (UTC)Re: But I feel as though I should tell her something.
Date: 2011-03-14 03:27 pm (UTC)You're still beautiful. And I still say you should be spending more time with sandwiches than Ben. But what do I know?
Re: But I feel as though I should tell her something.
Date: 2011-03-14 11:57 am (UTC)I think that a lot these days, but of course w/out Ben, I wouldn't have Robin.
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Date: 2011-03-13 08:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-14 11:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-14 02:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-14 11:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-14 04:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-14 04:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-14 06:24 pm (UTC)and hey, nothing wrong with owning it. ;)
might as well post it everywhere you please.
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Date: 2011-03-15 05:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-15 04:45 pm (UTC)