Distraction-less

‘Nother dream with a long, labyrinthian narrative I can’t remember except at the end, I was watching Ben convulsing on a bed—he’d overdosed on speed, cocaine, something. Was he gonna die? Should I call a doctor? But then if he got better on his own, I’d feel stupid.

There was also a really skinny baby lying on the floor. I thought, If I put it in the bed where Ben is lying, at least it will get warm.

###

Finished the Remunerative Project. Edited Nafisa’s personal statement for her various residency applications. Tromped.

Other than that, I did nothing and felt curiously empty.

I couldn’t even distract myself because nothing is distracting.

I’ll start the next Remunerative Project today because I want $$$$ so I can show the boyZ a good time over Thanksgiving.

And continue clearing out the garden, prepping the soil and planting daffodil and tulip bulbs for next spring.

Although I’m having a hard time right now convincing myself there will be a next spring.