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Special Effects Department was busy last night:
Over in Facebookland, I got into a deathmatch with Mrs. Hare V. 2.0.
Really, I should know better than to:
(A) Ever log on to Facebook for more than 15 minutes
or
(B) Indulge myself in disclosing political opinions in front of a potentially mass audience
But I am ever the fool who rushed in because the angels were too busy darning their wings and watching Real Housewives reruns.
I posted a link to this piece, which says bluntly what I’ve been thinking all along: Hillary Clinton blew it!
And I was having a fine and dandy conversation with my old buddy Axon who’s read everything Winston Churchill ever wrote and so is convinced 2016 is a historical reenactment of 1938.
And then fuckin’ MaryAnn shows up out of nowhere.
Is she stalking me? I swear! I deliberately un-followed her so that I would not be tempted to write rude things on her wall. Can’t she at least extend me the same courtesy?
Apparently not.
Anyone who didn't vote for HRC, voted for racism, misogyny, Christian biblical law, climate destruction, MaryAnn announces.
MaryAnn, fuck off, I’m thinking.
Of course, you realize you're insulting me, MaryAnn, by writing that, right? I wrote. I didn't vote for Hillary Clinton, and I am sure as hell not going to be judged by you.
I’m not judging, just stating a fact, sez MaryAnn, and I’m thinking, Fact? What universe do you live in?
I’ve put up with MaryAnn for 20 years. She married my first husband after I left him. She’d be more comfortable around me if he’d dumped me, but that was not the case.
Do I like her? Well. There are times when I’ve felt affectionate toward her. Is that the same thing as liking?
We also effectively co-parented Max for a long time, so there was a lot of shit I knew I’d just have to pour hot sauce on and choke down somehow because I knew how hard it was for Max to be an emissary between our two households and because there were battles I needed to save my strength for since I knew I had to win them. There was no way in Hell, for example, that I was gonna allow my kid to be raised in Orange County, California. Also, the eight-year old Max did not have ADD and did not need to be started on Ritalin!
You are NOT stating a fact. You are stating YOUR OPINION. Just because you think something does NOT make it a fact, I wrote.
Duh!
I really would prefer NOT to have negative conversations with you, MaryAnn, I continued. I like you, I respect you, and I consider you part of my extended family; I hope you feel the same way about me. But really, the finger-pointing is counterproductive.
No Kumbayah moments for MaryAnn! She was on the warpath.
It is a FACT that the votes for Stein, and Johnson, had they gone to HRC, in PA, MI, and WI, would have resulted in an HRC win, MaryAnn said.
You're speaking about those votes as if they have some kind of existence independent of the people who cast them! I said. Those people did not WANT to vote for HRC and those people did not WANT to vote for Trump. HRC was not ENTITLED to those votes. She did not make her case to those voters. End of story.
And now Trump is President Elect, sniffed MaryAnn.
Because Hillary Clinton was a bad candidate! I said.
So now you are insulting me since I have been an HRC supporter and voter all along, right? wrote MaryAnn.
Are you fuckin’ kidding me? I thought. Do you honestly believe that I make an extensive study of your political reactions? That I care?
No, MaryAnn, I not insult you, I wrote. Unless your psychological fusion with Hillary Clinton is so complete that you get defensive when I assess Hillary Clinton.
And then I unfriended and blocked MaryAnn.
This is going to have serious ramifications for my family life. But you know what? I don’t care.
###
Maybe it’s genetic, this capacity for blinding rage I seem to have. I am Sicilian by bloodline if not by culture; many other Sicilians I know seem to get triggered similarly. And then there are all those Godfather movies!
When I get angry, I really would like to pick up a brick and beat somebody’s head in with it.
It’s not a reaction I approve of at all, but there you have it.
I always feel deeply ashamed of myself when I get angry. Anger is the least acceptable of emotions in today’s culture. And for a very good reason: We can’t live safely if we’re crowded in so densely, and there are those among us harboring homicidal feelings, however transient.
But hey! I am what I am. And at least I won’t have to put up with MaryAnn anymore, right? There’s always a silver lining.
Although the MaryAnn surrogates have already begun their lobbying.
Sigh.
Over in Facebookland, I got into a deathmatch with Mrs. Hare V. 2.0.
Really, I should know better than to:
(A) Ever log on to Facebook for more than 15 minutes
or
(B) Indulge myself in disclosing political opinions in front of a potentially mass audience
But I am ever the fool who rushed in because the angels were too busy darning their wings and watching Real Housewives reruns.
I posted a link to this piece, which says bluntly what I’ve been thinking all along: Hillary Clinton blew it!
And I was having a fine and dandy conversation with my old buddy Axon who’s read everything Winston Churchill ever wrote and so is convinced 2016 is a historical reenactment of 1938.
And then fuckin’ MaryAnn shows up out of nowhere.
Is she stalking me? I swear! I deliberately un-followed her so that I would not be tempted to write rude things on her wall. Can’t she at least extend me the same courtesy?
Apparently not.
Anyone who didn't vote for HRC, voted for racism, misogyny, Christian biblical law, climate destruction, MaryAnn announces.
MaryAnn, fuck off, I’m thinking.
Of course, you realize you're insulting me, MaryAnn, by writing that, right? I wrote. I didn't vote for Hillary Clinton, and I am sure as hell not going to be judged by you.
I’m not judging, just stating a fact, sez MaryAnn, and I’m thinking, Fact? What universe do you live in?
I’ve put up with MaryAnn for 20 years. She married my first husband after I left him. She’d be more comfortable around me if he’d dumped me, but that was not the case.
Do I like her? Well. There are times when I’ve felt affectionate toward her. Is that the same thing as liking?
We also effectively co-parented Max for a long time, so there was a lot of shit I knew I’d just have to pour hot sauce on and choke down somehow because I knew how hard it was for Max to be an emissary between our two households and because there were battles I needed to save my strength for since I knew I had to win them. There was no way in Hell, for example, that I was gonna allow my kid to be raised in Orange County, California. Also, the eight-year old Max did not have ADD and did not need to be started on Ritalin!
You are NOT stating a fact. You are stating YOUR OPINION. Just because you think something does NOT make it a fact, I wrote.
Duh!
I really would prefer NOT to have negative conversations with you, MaryAnn, I continued. I like you, I respect you, and I consider you part of my extended family; I hope you feel the same way about me. But really, the finger-pointing is counterproductive.
No Kumbayah moments for MaryAnn! She was on the warpath.
It is a FACT that the votes for Stein, and Johnson, had they gone to HRC, in PA, MI, and WI, would have resulted in an HRC win, MaryAnn said.
You're speaking about those votes as if they have some kind of existence independent of the people who cast them! I said. Those people did not WANT to vote for HRC and those people did not WANT to vote for Trump. HRC was not ENTITLED to those votes. She did not make her case to those voters. End of story.
And now Trump is President Elect, sniffed MaryAnn.
Because Hillary Clinton was a bad candidate! I said.
So now you are insulting me since I have been an HRC supporter and voter all along, right? wrote MaryAnn.
Are you fuckin’ kidding me? I thought. Do you honestly believe that I make an extensive study of your political reactions? That I care?
No, MaryAnn, I not insult you, I wrote. Unless your psychological fusion with Hillary Clinton is so complete that you get defensive when I assess Hillary Clinton.
And then I unfriended and blocked MaryAnn.
This is going to have serious ramifications for my family life. But you know what? I don’t care.
###
Maybe it’s genetic, this capacity for blinding rage I seem to have. I am Sicilian by bloodline if not by culture; many other Sicilians I know seem to get triggered similarly. And then there are all those Godfather movies!
When I get angry, I really would like to pick up a brick and beat somebody’s head in with it.
It’s not a reaction I approve of at all, but there you have it.
I always feel deeply ashamed of myself when I get angry. Anger is the least acceptable of emotions in today’s culture. And for a very good reason: We can’t live safely if we’re crowded in so densely, and there are those among us harboring homicidal feelings, however transient.
But hey! I am what I am. And at least I won’t have to put up with MaryAnn anymore, right? There’s always a silver lining.
Although the MaryAnn surrogates have already begun their lobbying.
Sigh.
