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Ron Powers glosses over the end of Sam Clemens’ life with the words, He aged, and he died. Death and loss and the embarrassment of his own failing body haunted his final years, and sometimes “despair,” a word that has often been draped over his life after Livy like a shroud. (That there is some bee-you-ti-ful prose!)

But I was curious so I went to the library and checked out Hamlin Hill’s Mark Twain: God’s Fool to read all about what Powers was too discreet to get into.

In his dotage, Clemens developed a fixation on little girls that seems to have rivaled Humbert Humbert’s. Powers dismisses the attraction as platonic, but I don’t think so.

For one thing Clemens called the girls his “Angel Fish” – an innocuous enough term unless you know your Suetonius which Clemens certainly did, it was favorite bedtime reading. Emperor Tiberius who began Rome’s descent into corruption after the death of his sanctimonious stepfather, kept a villa in Capri whose pools he stocked with… little boys. Tiberius called them pisciculi – little fish. He trained his pisciculi – and I quote – “to crawl between his thighs when he went swimming and tease him with their licks and nibbles.” This is one of the most famous passages in Suetonius. No way Clemens was not alluding to it with the nickname he chose for his nymphets.

For another, there was an… incident… that precipitated his last flight from Bermuda home to Connecticut. Powers doesn’t get into it, implies merely that Clemens wanted to die in his own bed.

But Hamlin Hill gets into it, insofar as one can at a hundred years’ remove.

Clemens was singularly obsessed with a girl called Helen Allen, the adolescent daughter of the American consul. He wrote her mash notes. Years later an employee of Twain’s publisher wrote of … some story… which … is something very terrible that happened in Bermuda shortly before M.T.’s death… It is something unprintable…

I assume he flashed his shriveled old man cock at her. I assume too that he was half senile when he did it, that this may have been a form of sexual signaling popular in the mining towns of his youth.

Other than that, Clemens descent into death was strictly King Lears-ville. He had three daughters with whom his relationships were very bizarre. They were constantly going into neurasthenic declines, neurasthenia being the psychopathologic illness so popular among upper class women throughout the 19th century whose exact epidemiology remains unclear. One daughter had died of spinal meningitis while Clemens was abroad repairing the family finances; the nicest was an epileptic who drowned in her bath. Clara, the middle daughter, the one Clemens – never afraid to play favorites! – seemed to like the least lived until 1963 when she died in San Diego. (I don’t know whether the circumstances were mysterious. Of course, I would like them to be.)

I didn’t cry at the end of the Powers book, but I cried at the end of Hill’s. It’s that quality I can’t really articulate. When he died something changed forever; there will never be any going back.
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At nine o’clock in the morning, it was 90 degrees. At nine o’clock at night, it was 90 degrees.
In between it got a whole lot hotter.

###


Samuel Clemens married an heiress named Olivia Langdon. She had no sense of humor. She hailed from Elmira, a town I know better than I want to: It’s also the ancestral seat of the Plunkett family into which I married.

Elmira’s history is typical of so many of the small dreary cities in this part of western New York State. Its fortunes rose in conjunction with the railroads that made the Erie Canal obsolete; those railroads, in turn, became obsolete themselves with the ascendency of the automobile. Here’s a theory to ponder: All human history is really a history of transportation.

Flooding in the wake of quixotic Hurricane Agnes all but destroyed Elmira in 1972 -- the city center had been built on the floodplains of the Chemung River; when the hurricane unexpectedly turned inland, the river broke its earthen levies. Sound familiar? Here’s another theory of human history: All catastrophes are doomed to be repeated on an ever larger and larger scale until finally someone pays attention.

Elmira’s entire downtown was buried under eight feet of tarry black mud; after it was demolished, it was never rebuilt. Then came the crack cocaine epidemic of the ‘80s. Today Elmira isn’t really a place anymore: just some ugly old houses that were once showcases, a handful of churches, a few office buildings, wide stretches of road. Mark Twain is one of two local cottage industries; the other is a prison.

###


Reportedly Sam Clemens first fell in love with Olivia Langdon’s portrait. Standards of beauty have certainly changed in the last 150 years, haven’t they? I would call the girl in this photograph “plain;” moreover, there is a sanctimonious, sepulchral expression on her face that really annoys me.

Said portrait was in the possession of a shipmate brother, and presumably Clemens had spent enough time with Bro at the gambling table to check out the accent and inexhaustible supplies of the ready, both signals of the upper class to the status-conscious young ruffian, longing to reinvent himself as a country squire.

###


Is Huckleberry Finn really that great a book? Whales, Mister Melville, really?

###


Here’s my third theory of the morning: People end up marrying the partners who can say, “No,” for them. Who can impose restraints that for one reason or another people are incapable of imposing themselves. It’s not about love necessarily, but it is about completion.

Clemens really loathed Mark Twain’s humor. If it had been up to him – and not the wind that blew so obsessively through him – he would have rewritten The Prince and the Pauper a dozen times.

###


One nice thing about the heat: There are hundreds of fireflies. At nine o’clock when it first gets dark, they’re all at ground level. They rise as the warm air rises, so that by midnight the tops of the trees are a glittering twinkle of tiny lights.

Of course since I have every window open, they fly into the house. I spent half the night rounding them up, escorting them out the door. Also moths, bees, assorted Daddy Long Legs and other bugs I can’t identify. I just can’t bring myself to kill them. I’m not more important than they are, I’m just bigger.
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Back in December, while Ben and RTT were paying their respects to Nancy’s grave, I hunted down Mark Twain’s. Left a red rose. Jury’s still out on life after death, but if there is such, I have no doubt that Sam Clemens, a moody, vindictive and – yes, Virginia – strangely humorless man in his daily life, is keeping a close watch on his own remains.

Ron Powers’ Mark Twain biography, by the way, is a magnificent book – less a biography than a sagital slice through the 19th century America. Enormous wealth of detail – this is what it felt like then, you find yourself thinking at least once on every page. Finishing it, I’m inclined to take the view that history is a coral reef, the dull accretion of small lives upon small lives with a twist and a burst of color every once in a while when one extraordinary life leaves its mark. The Great Man View of History, I suppose.

Powers does a rather subtle thing of separating out Sam Clemens from his literary creation without hitting the reader over the head with the duality (twainship?) He also answers one question I’ve always had: how did Clemens who lived through the epoch of the Civil War manage to be so little affected by it?

Clemens, of course, didn’t make history so much as observe it. Without Mark Twain, the course of American history would have meandered pretty much as it did meander. Mark Twain was less a catalyst, than a personification – though it’s impossible to imagine the unique circumstances of Clemens’ life befalling anyone else. It’s amazing enough that they befell him.

I had terrible insomnia last night. Western New York state is in the grip of a monster heat wave so I kept the windows open – moths and lightening bugs kept flying into the house. I read a hundred pages or so of the Twain bio, kept Dirty, Pretty Things on the media machine. Read about Clemens’ oldest brother Orion, so broken by the events of his own life and his younger brother’s ridicule that one night after dinner he went upstairs and drank half a pint of ammonia. Sadly, he survived. I read about Clemens’ publisher, a nephew by marriage, whose health and sanity were broken by Clemens’ relentless egoism and vindictive nature. Late in his life Clemens became obsessed with Joan of Arc, eventually producing a minor work entitled Personal Recollections of Joan of Arc, by the Sieur Louis de Conte. When I finally fell asleep, I dreamed of a parallel universe where Joan of Arc had never existed, and the disembodied voices of her sacred triumvirate, Saint Michael, Saint Catherine, and Saint Margaret, went roaming from ploughboy to ploughboy on their holy recruitment campaign. I was one such ploughboy. Why should I care if Burgundy is French or English? I told the voices grumpily. It’s all the same to me.

###


I’m trying to figure out how to get out of the trap my life has become that doesn’t involve drinking ammonia. Haven’t quite made my peace with my position in the coral reef, I suppose.

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