Mallory's Camera

I’ve been doing this meme for more than 20 years now (which is mind-blowing when I think about it.) I originally copped it from alicey. She was an angst-ridden teenager at the time.

alicey is now an accomplished mother of two! She doesn’t waste her time on memes! Or on LiveJournal!

But since I am an ancient, doddering crone, I still do.

1. What did you do in 2022 that you'd never done before?

• Set up a Go-Fund-Me:



Honestly, it was excruciating, and I will never do it again!

What you’re doing with a nonviral GoFundMe is essentially monetizing your social capital. The unspoken expectation is that everyone who knows you and ❤️LUVS❤️ you will contribute to your Very Worthy Cause, and when they don’t—for whatever perfectly legitimate reason—you begin to question their ❤️LUV❤️. Nerve-wracking!

• Visited the Bread & Puppet Theater



This place is just amazing, and why some billionaire hasn’t kicked in a spare million or ten to preserve it, I do not know.

• Went to Palermo




I’d been to Sicily before. But not to Palermo.

• Went to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival



2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I don’t make resolutions.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

No.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Miles Actually.




Though Miles wasn’t what you’d describe as a close friend, more a kind of cosmic littermate whose intelligence and snark defined a perspective on the world I admire and try to emulate.

5. What countries did you visit?

Sicily. Which, despite the Treaty of Vienna, remains culturally distinct from the rest of Italy.

Scotland. Similarly distinct from the rest of the U.K.

6. What would you like to have in 2023 that you lacked in 2022?

I’m still beating myself up for not purchasing this:




But otherwise, nothing.

7. What date(s) from 2022 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

None.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Signing an extremely lucrative contract with a client that delayed moving into that battered cardboard refrigerator box under the bridge for at least one more year.

After that one, the contracts kept coming!

9. What was your biggest failure?

Can’t think of any. That doesn’t mean there weren’t any.

10. Did you suffer any illness or injury?

No. My health is surprisingly good. I mean, I’m officially old now, which means my stamina is on the wane. But for an old broad, I’m doin’ good.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Lemon drop earrings. Amazing bespoke and completely handcrafted scarf. The maker actually raised the sheep herself, spun the wool, loomed the cloth, designed the piece etc etc.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Debbie & Russ, of course, for being the most amazing hosts in the history of houseguests!

But really, all my friends. I’m very lucky to have them.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Alicia.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Travel. It’s much more expensive now than it was in pre-pandemic days.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Travel.

16. What song will always remind you of 2022?

Oh, I don’t know. Maybe Everything Is Beautiful at the Ballet?



17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) Happier or sadder? About the same.

b) Thinner or fatter? Fatter.

c) Richer or poorer? Richer.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Exercise. Fiction writing.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

The Real Housewives!

20. How did you spend Christmas?

I was supposed to spend it with family in a little town near Lake Erie.

But then there was this bi-i-i-ig snowstorm!

So, I ended up spending Christmas alone.

I was fine with that. I actually did remunerative work! Christmas is not a particularly important holiday for me.

21. How did you spend New Year’s?

I went to a dinner party where I was entertained by a most enchanting four-year-old. We were the only children there.



22. Did you fall in love in 2022?

Love?

What’s that?

23. How many one-night stands?

This is a joke, right?

24. What was your favorite TV program?

Not a great year for television programs. I could not bring myself to give a shit about White Lotus or House of the Dragon.

I did kinda like The Pretender and thought Amanda Seyfried did an amazing job as Elizabeth Holmes.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

No. I still hate the people I hated last year. What’s more, I feel a whole lot less guilty over hating them.

26. What was the best book you read?

Jennifer Egan, The Candy House.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Didn’t make any.

28. What did you want and get?

A Fitbit.

29. What did you want and not get?

A winning Lotto combination.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?

Sucky year for movies. I didn’t really ❤️LUV❤️ anything I saw in a theater.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 70!!!!! I am officially old!!!!! On the day itself, my friend Linda held a tea party for me and six select friends, complete with crustless cucumber sandwiches on lightly buttered bread.

Then my oldest son Ichabod flew in from California to take me on to Vermont to see the afore-mentioned Bread and Puppet Theater.


32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

This meme really wants respondents to have found the past year unsatisfactory!

World peace, of course. And I personally would enjoy it if Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez had a mad affair with Donald Trump Jr. His dick pix to her could be intercepted and published in The Daily Mail.

Barring that, maybe Prince Harry could have an affair with Harry Styles.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2022?

Oh, I dress like a bag lady.

34. What kept you sane?

My sense of humor.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

I think I’m past the stage of fancying celebrities.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?

The accumulation of wealth in the hands of a plutocracy. (This was last year’s answer, too.)

37. Who did you miss?

Honestly, I didn’t miss anybody. Which is kind of odd for me since I spend so much time in my head reminiscing about the lost past.

38. Who was the best new person you met?

I don’t think I met anybody new last year.

I mean, yeah, sure. I met lots of strangers. But no one who struck me as a find.


39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2022

Slow and steady wins the race. Yes, yes, banal. But true! And a hard-learned lesson for me as I am something of a slapper and a dasher by nature.