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mallorys_camera“I draw the line at singing ‘Happy Birthday to you’ two times,” said Neighbor Ed.
“Well, then, you’re a dead man walking,” I said. “Do you want me to bring my cat over? She’ll eat your corpse. Less work for you,” that last to Pat, Mrs. Neighbor Ed. She rolled her eyes.
If anybody knows everything you wanna know about the coronavirus pandemic but were afraid to ask, it would be Pat. She’s still a practicing NP. She works two days a week at Quaint and Scenic Hospital (Not Its Real Name.)
“You would laugh at their isolation set up,” she told me. “Let’s pray they never have to use it.”
“Personally, I continue to believe this Covid-19 thing is way overhyped,” I said.
“Oh, without question,” Pat said.
“But the supply chain interruptions are very real,” said Neighbor Ed.
###
My FB feed runneth over with PSAs. People most likely to be delivering these health screeds are fanatical Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren supporters who’ve already taken out a patent on “shrill,” the type of people who imagine every posting they make on social media is an audition for Rachel Maddow’s job. Wear mittens at all times! Don’t eat any live animals! Don’t eat food off of other people’s plates! Above all else, don’t pick your nose after you’ve used a door knob!
If it were up to me, I would line them all up against a wall and shoot them. They are that annoying.
###
Buttigieg dropped out, and the social media haters came out in full force.
He’s white! He has a penis! And he comes from the Midwest! Never mind that his policies are actually doable.
Buttigieg was my personal fave though I wasn’t gonna vote for him because he is not at all electable. The homophobic U.S.A. is not gonna elect a gay President. But, hey! Buttigieg’s a policy wonk, I’m a policy wonk. It was a match made in heaven.
Now, I’m pretty sure I am not gonna vote for anyone in the New York primary. And when I vote in the national election, I will only be voting for the proxy candidate who’s standing in for Anyone But Trump.
###
I had lured Pat and Ed to Paula’s Roadhouse to hear Doug’s band. Play that funky music, TaxBwana! Doug’s band did a lot of Hall and Oates covers. There was that one particularly ghastly summer in the Cement Bungalow where all RTT ever played was Public Enemy, and Hall and Oates, so I know all their lyrics and chord changes!
As it turned out, Paula’s Roadhouse was having a Singles’ Event (ugh!), so it was a very good thing I had lured Pat and Ed there. Protective camouflage.
Earlier that morning, I’d toddled out to tour the Garden:
Shortly, I must begin germinating seeds and thinking about rototillers.
Also, Tom informs me Season 3 of Babylon Berlin is out.
So, there is a reason to go on living.
“Well, then, you’re a dead man walking,” I said. “Do you want me to bring my cat over? She’ll eat your corpse. Less work for you,” that last to Pat, Mrs. Neighbor Ed. She rolled her eyes.
If anybody knows everything you wanna know about the coronavirus pandemic but were afraid to ask, it would be Pat. She’s still a practicing NP. She works two days a week at Quaint and Scenic Hospital (Not Its Real Name.)
“You would laugh at their isolation set up,” she told me. “Let’s pray they never have to use it.”
“Personally, I continue to believe this Covid-19 thing is way overhyped,” I said.
“Oh, without question,” Pat said.
“But the supply chain interruptions are very real,” said Neighbor Ed.
###
My FB feed runneth over with PSAs. People most likely to be delivering these health screeds are fanatical Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren supporters who’ve already taken out a patent on “shrill,” the type of people who imagine every posting they make on social media is an audition for Rachel Maddow’s job. Wear mittens at all times! Don’t eat any live animals! Don’t eat food off of other people’s plates! Above all else, don’t pick your nose after you’ve used a door knob!
If it were up to me, I would line them all up against a wall and shoot them. They are that annoying.
###
Buttigieg dropped out, and the social media haters came out in full force.
He’s white! He has a penis! And he comes from the Midwest! Never mind that his policies are actually doable.
Buttigieg was my personal fave though I wasn’t gonna vote for him because he is not at all electable. The homophobic U.S.A. is not gonna elect a gay President. But, hey! Buttigieg’s a policy wonk, I’m a policy wonk. It was a match made in heaven.
Now, I’m pretty sure I am not gonna vote for anyone in the New York primary. And when I vote in the national election, I will only be voting for the proxy candidate who’s standing in for Anyone But Trump.
###
I had lured Pat and Ed to Paula’s Roadhouse to hear Doug’s band. Play that funky music, TaxBwana! Doug’s band did a lot of Hall and Oates covers. There was that one particularly ghastly summer in the Cement Bungalow where all RTT ever played was Public Enemy, and Hall and Oates, so I know all their lyrics and chord changes!
As it turned out, Paula’s Roadhouse was having a Singles’ Event (ugh!), so it was a very good thing I had lured Pat and Ed there. Protective camouflage.
Earlier that morning, I’d toddled out to tour the Garden:
Shortly, I must begin germinating seeds and thinking about rototillers.
Also, Tom informs me Season 3 of Babylon Berlin is out.
So, there is a reason to go on living.
no subject
Date: 2020-03-02 03:19 pm (UTC)Now that IS scary, especially since I JUST read about Carson McCuller's attempt to incinerate her baby sister on the family's open hearth one Christmas during her childhood.
And then wrote about the incident as cathartic in a holiday issue of Mademoiselle magazine! Really?
However, because we're both currently overrun with PSAs--which in women apparently originate in their Facebooks--I'm willing to overlook such verbal indiscretions in a fellow sufferer...
no subject
Date: 2020-03-02 03:25 pm (UTC)On FB, I run a delightful feature called "Today's Exciting Cat News," which requires me to cull through the long, long list of cat-related news stories first thing every morning.
And each and every morning, there are at least five stories that delve into whether or not your cat will really eat your corpse should you drop dead reaching for that can opener.
I never include these items 'cause "Today's Exciting Cat News" is all about happy stories.
But I continue to be fascinated by them. 😃
no subject
Date: 2020-03-02 04:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-03-03 01:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-03-03 06:52 pm (UTC)