Hair Cuts

[mallorys_camera]

So I did what everyone should do when they're feeling massively sorry for themselves – I hacked off all my hair. And blew 200 bucks on make-up, teeth whitening gunk and anti-wrinkle cream.

I've abandoned Veronica, my Latina stylist, who I'd followed through every move up the hair stylist ladder of success for several years. I went to the mall. Got a $13 cut, tipped $20. I only kept going to Veronica, truth be told, because her life fascinated me – not that her life was so terribly interesting (although Clint Eastwood did hit on her in a bar five years ago), quite the opposite, in fact: it was relentlessly ordinary. But because of the strange way I was brought up, the banal exercises the appeal to me that the exotic exercises for most folk.

Veronica was considering how to force her live-in boyfriend of four years to propose when I first met her. This was also the point at which I was trying to force Edie – my previous stylist – to back off from the Tina Turner wig look. "But you're supposed to go lighter as you get older," Edie would insist, fingers rifling through my hair. I looked like a French poodle on steroids. Loyalty to beauticians, however, is one of my few virtues. I would never have dreamed of abandoning Edie had not a hair crisis come up – some ICM-related function at which it would not do to turn up with gray roots. And Edie refused to fit me in.

So I went to the mall. And met Veronica.

"I've been there for him," sighed Veronica, her fingers fussing with my bangs. "I've done a lot for him. I don't know why he won't do this one little thing for me."

Boy, could I relate.

"Veronica, I want to go dark," I said recklessly. "Think you can do that for me?"

"Sure," said Veronica. "Why not?"

I followed Veronica from the mall to the pleasantly shabby little salon off Abrego that got absolutely no drop-in traffic, thence to Venus – a cold industrial-style establishment whose aesthetic bespoke an owner who spent too much time reading W Magazine and wishing she lived in New York – and finally to some place in Carmel. During that time, Veronica snagged the ring and the date, suffered a miscarriage and bought a home in a Salinas development. When last we spoke, Veronica was considering dropping out of the exciting world of hair styling and opening a dry-cleaning business. And that's when her life finally got too boring even for me.

And who should I run into as I emerged from Quick Cuts with my new Sex Victim Unit detective look but Marybeth! "Patty, your hair –"

"Don't say a word!" I cautioned.

"No, it looks good!"

We made a date for dinner and drinking this Thursday night. But if she bails this time, it is off the Cosmic Christmas Card list forever!

Comments

[eleanor.livejournal.com]

I didn't see it before, but you look great in the photo.

BTW, my loyalty to a stylist is won wthen someone doesn't try to talk me into a perm of bodywave.

[mallorys-camera.livejournal.com]

Well, thank you! My hair is naturally so wavy that even the most craven stylist can't run that scam on me.

[thewindrose.livejournal.com]

Hair therapy is a well known cure for all that ails you. I used to love to home dye my hair a new shade when ever depression wasn getting the better of me.

I have serious, freaky problems with stylists. I'm fine with them - as long as they don't want to talk to me. But they ALL want to chat!! It drives me nuts. I used to go to a stylist once a year, whether I needed it or not.

Ironic isn't it that I'm marrying one???

[mallorys-camera.livejournal.com]

I've always pictured Michael as looking exactly like Warren Beatty in Shampoo! Although I realize I'm showing my age there...

[thewindrose.livejournal.com]

Well, Warren's a tad older than Michael now, but was much younger in that film. Though I am sure he would be flattered by the comparison.

Here's my sweetie:

[hotelsamurai.livejournal.com]

Love your new look!

In my search for a hairstylist, I think I've finally found The One. But I've been wrong before.

[mallorys-camera.livejournal.com]

Hey stranger! Do you use "product"?

I plug and I plug, but still no free samples in the mail

[hotelsamurai.livejournal.com]

Boy howdy, do I ever! Crew Grooming Cream. It's a nice, industrial-strength hair-spackle. And it smells great. In fact, I've got a head full of the stuff right now.

[lacachet.livejournal.com]

Robin is cute, too. :)

[mallorys-camera.livejournal.com]

Isn't he though? Thanks!

[lethe1]

You both look smart! :)