Part Deux: It's Called Fashion, Brenda. Look It Up

[mallorys_camera]

Forced myself to go running yesterday.

Forced.

Test of Character! Are You a Man, or Are You a Cockroach?

I have no idea why exercise is relatively effortless one day and such an ordeal the next. Back in the day when I was a jock, I used to enjoy it.

I loved racing bicycles because I could coast very, very fast down those Berkeley hills, feel the wind against my face and in my hair since I never wore a helmet. (In fact, I am lucky I didn’t kill myself that time I wiped out on Centennial Drive going 40 miles an hour; I did lose a front tooth.)

I loved Tai Kwon Do because punching and kicking and sparring is fun!

But running is not fun. Running is kinda monotonous, even with podcasts. One does it only because that vision of Lot’s wife looms—Lot’s wife turned to Philadelphia cream cheese instead of salt as befits a Lot’s wife who lives in 21st century America.

Do you want to be Lot’s wife?

No, of course not.

It really has nothing to do with attractiveness.

I’m old. Any attractiveness I may still possess at this point is strictly in the museum specimen category.

###

Just before I went running, I had a conversation with Lois Lane about weight that was a tad awkward.

I mean—what do you say to people when they complain to you about their weight?

Lois Lane got noticeably plumper in the six months or so when our paths didn’t cross. But she is still a knockout: big blue eyes, the most gorgeous cascade of red curls, a voluptuous body—tiny waist, big boobs, generous hips. Gipson Girl! And she has great taste. She dresses amazingly. (It was Lois Lane who introduced me to what is now one of my favorite retorts: It’s called fashion, Brenda. Look it up.)

I know, I know, I know: She was venting. My role as Friend was to sit there, nod, throw in the occasional sympathetic, Ummmmm.

Except. I can’t do that.

“The real issue is physical activity,” I told Lois Lane. “It’s just harder to be active when you weigh more. I always do the Kitty Litter Test. How much weight did you gain?”

“Twenty pounds,” said Lois Lane.

“Well, pick up one of those large 20-lb tubs of kitty litter and imagine how much more difficult it would be to do Pilates with that strapped to your back. And paradoxically, of course, you need to be more active in order to lose that weight.”

She did that mouth-tightening thing that signifies you have wandered into conversational quicksand territory.

I felt bad.

###

Else? I registered justice4some.com as the domain for the “With Justice for Some” blog Max and I are collaborating upon.

I’m designing the site in WordPress.

Haven’t done any web design for at least a decade. Hopefully, I still have some chops.

Also, I bought Transcription in hard copy because Kate Atkinson!

Comments

[thisnewday]

"Do you want to be Lot’s wife?"

NO. And, you're right, it has NOTHING to do with attractiveness. Or saltiness or cream-cheesiness, lol. It has totally to do with functionality of the machine. And a couple of, um, miscellaneous physiological features.

So I totally agree with what you told your friend on that level and admire your [miscellaneous physiological features] in saying this to anyone within arm's reach, lol.

But, hey, isn't that one of the things makes Patrizia so interesting to the rest of us? Of course it is.

I do know what you mean about some days being such a grind, even though my routine is MUCH less rigorous than yours.

Actually, I just updated my routine and dusted off my old treadmill program in order to bring the walking part of it indoors for the winter. (I've also been getting bumped from both of the HS tracks where I'd been walking.)

To do that, I've enrolled in the "Creaky Sneakers" program at the local community center. (It's actually "Silver Sneakers" and it's sponsored by my supplemental insurance company.)

Which will allow me to segue into a more rigorous indoor routine without having to refurbish and transport the treadmill I still have at the house in the city...

[mallorys_camera]

my routine is MUCH less rigorous than yours.

Oh, probably not that much less rigerous: When I say "run", I mean I put some effort into picking up my knees. My rate of movement is actually very, very slow.

I don't know how interesting I am. I do manage to entertain myself, which I suppose is some kind of accomplishment. :-)

[asakiyume]

She did that mouth-tightening thing that signifies you have wandered into conversational quicksand territory.

Oh man, I know exactly what you mean.

[mallorys_camera]

Ha, ha! :-)

[smokingboot]

I've seen photos of you, you're no museum piece!

[mallorys_camera]

Well, thank you.

But I'm 66 years old. I have no illusions about my appearance. :-)