Letter To Someone That I'm Not Going To Send

[mallorys_camera]

Blah blah blah.

I did want to tell you, though, that I know what you're going through. Exactly what you're going through.

And it's very, very difficult.

It gets better. But that takes time. And compromises you don't particularly want to make and lots of wasted effort pushing that big old rock up that big steep hill with no specific payoff in sight.

Why bother?

Well, there's still a lot of beauty to be harvested along the way. And pleasures. Unexpected pleasures. Not the ones you've been prepped your whole life to think of as the payoffs.

Is it worth it?

That, my friend, is a question every individual has to answer for himself.

All best -- no, I mean, really --

Blah blah blah

Comments

[nokomisjeff.livejournal.com]

I was thinking along the same lines\Jeff

[mallorys-camera.livejournal.com]

Ha, ha. Maybe we need to stage an intervention.

[nokomisjeff.livejournal.com]

Nah, it's just like a bad trade, best to get out, cut your losses, and ignore the negative vibes which can rub off and cause severe damage. By the way we will be in your neighborhood Dec 9-14 to spend time with Vic. How far are you from the city? You must have dinner on us, maybe we'll go to Daniel on the UES. Let me know how you could pull off a dinner, or at least a lunch. I think you and Donna will hit it off. Both of you are far smarter than me, and have more in common with each other than I do.

[ccjohn.livejournal.com]

No. It's not an answer. It's not a decision. Life sucks less unexpectedly. This is a welcome development even if overdue. But it is not like any answer we try to give ourselves, or any decision, determines how we feel. I have no patience with that crap, if we can decide how happy we are all the time or how much meaning life has, that means unhappy people are just very slow to get the point. Bullshit. Unhappy people or those who feel their lives have no meaning are missing something in their lives. They are at want. And we will all of us be that way too, soon enough so I don't see exhortations or their better-mannered cousin, placid knowingness as much help to anyone.

I'll wait out this garbage with you. Want to see you on the other side of it.

If you're happy, you're lucky. If you're unhappy, that's not right. I know too many people who've earned happiness and meaning ten times over still wanting both, too many contented because they're entitled. Keep asking is it worth it, but don't believe for a minute you have any role in the answer. Effort's great. Effort guarantees nothing, discipline does not, change gives and takes the same, knowledge guarantees nothing. You help someone else with his rock, though, your rock hates that. Hahahaha.

[signorinakatina.livejournal.com]

I have been coming to terms with these kinds of feelings myself in the past year. Thanks for putting it so concisely.