The N-Word
Mar. 23rd, 2012 10:52 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mallorys_cameraJustin beat Mac up last weekend. Under contention: Use of the N-word. I have such a strong antipathy to those six little letters I can barely make myself write them, let alone pronounce them.
But with Robin, it’s “Nigger” this and “Nigger” that. Comes with being part of the hip-hop culture, I suppose, and make no mistake, if you buy the music, if you wear the clothes, if you watch the videos, you’re part of the culture.
“Robin, that is a really, really offensive word,” I say.
He shrugs. “Justin uses it all the time.”
I roll my eyes. “Oh, give me a break, Robin. That’s disingenuous. Justin is black.”
“I’m one-sixteenth African American!”
That’s because my great grandmother was Tunisian.
“That doesn’t really count, Robin,” I say, although in fact at the time I was applying as an undergraduate to UC Berkeley, being one-eighth black actually made me eligible for affirmative action. Not that I applied – or was accepted – as part of an affirmative action program. I hate affirmative action.
“Robin,” I said, “you’re not black. I’m not black. We have African ancestry. So does every other human being on the planet – that’s where life originated. It’s just a matter of how far up you’re willing to climb on the family tree. Justin, on the other hand, is black. Frankly, I loathe the word whether it’s being used by white people or black people. I think it’s degrading. But I suppose when black people use it, it’s kind of like gay people embracing the word ‘queer.’ I dunno. But anyway, it’s not appropriate for you to use it and some day you’re gonna use it and get the shit kicked out of you.”
“Justin doesn’t care,” said Robin.
"I care, Robin," I said.
And apparently so does Justin. At least in hte right context. On Saturday night at Casa Justin in addition to the old New Roots posse, RTT, Justin, Kyle and Mac, there were also an assortment of Justin’s African American friends. Plus Justin was drunk. While Mac lay on the floor bleeding, RTT immediately called his dad and solicited a ride back to Trumansburg.
I tried to debrief RTT about the incident when I saw him again Monday. “So why exactly again did Justin beat Mac up?”
“You already know,” RTT answered sullenly. “’Cause Mac was calling him ‘nigger.’”
And you call him, ‘nigger,’” I pointed out.
“No, I don’t. I just say ‘nigger.’”
“As in, ‘Wass up, nigguh?’ I have news for you, Robin: That’s calling someone nigger.”
“Justin doesn’t think so.”
“Justin may well think so. Especially when Justin is around his African American friends. Which, you know, in college increasingly he will be.”
I had a friend in high school named Laura. We weren’t close friends, but we had exactly the same birthday, date and year, which maybe made me feel closer to her than I should have. Also, I will say that I have many flaws but racism isn’t among them. I suppose that’s part of my focus on individuals, not groups. I don’t hang out in groups. I’ve never hung out in groups.
Anyway, we both got into UCB and I expected the friendship would continue. But every time I saw Laura on campus, she cut me dead. And I finally realized: She had gotten into a social group that was an outlying satellite of the Black Panthers, she was embracing a racial identity that was more-or-less closed to her as the child of upwardly mobile, high earning parents. Black parents, of course. But professional black parents which in the late 1960s/early 1970s meant camouflaged, even closeted if you will.
Years later I ran into Laura again when I was dating Huey Newton. By this time she was a defeated, tired looking woman with a passel of kids and a low level social services job. I really wanted to ask her, Why did you cut me off like that? It hurt my feelings! But of course I already knew the answer.
I’m not saying RTT’s friendship with Justin will go the way of my certainly much less intense friendship with Laura. But it will change. And RTT’s gotta stop using the N-word.
But with Robin, it’s “Nigger” this and “Nigger” that. Comes with being part of the hip-hop culture, I suppose, and make no mistake, if you buy the music, if you wear the clothes, if you watch the videos, you’re part of the culture.
“Robin, that is a really, really offensive word,” I say.
He shrugs. “Justin uses it all the time.”
I roll my eyes. “Oh, give me a break, Robin. That’s disingenuous. Justin is black.”
“I’m one-sixteenth African American!”
That’s because my great grandmother was Tunisian.
“That doesn’t really count, Robin,” I say, although in fact at the time I was applying as an undergraduate to UC Berkeley, being one-eighth black actually made me eligible for affirmative action. Not that I applied – or was accepted – as part of an affirmative action program. I hate affirmative action.
“Robin,” I said, “you’re not black. I’m not black. We have African ancestry. So does every other human being on the planet – that’s where life originated. It’s just a matter of how far up you’re willing to climb on the family tree. Justin, on the other hand, is black. Frankly, I loathe the word whether it’s being used by white people or black people. I think it’s degrading. But I suppose when black people use it, it’s kind of like gay people embracing the word ‘queer.’ I dunno. But anyway, it’s not appropriate for you to use it and some day you’re gonna use it and get the shit kicked out of you.”
“Justin doesn’t care,” said Robin.
"I care, Robin," I said.
And apparently so does Justin. At least in hte right context. On Saturday night at Casa Justin in addition to the old New Roots posse, RTT, Justin, Kyle and Mac, there were also an assortment of Justin’s African American friends. Plus Justin was drunk. While Mac lay on the floor bleeding, RTT immediately called his dad and solicited a ride back to Trumansburg.
I tried to debrief RTT about the incident when I saw him again Monday. “So why exactly again did Justin beat Mac up?”
“You already know,” RTT answered sullenly. “’Cause Mac was calling him ‘nigger.’”
And you call him, ‘nigger,’” I pointed out.
“No, I don’t. I just say ‘nigger.’”
“As in, ‘Wass up, nigguh?’ I have news for you, Robin: That’s calling someone nigger.”
“Justin doesn’t think so.”
“Justin may well think so. Especially when Justin is around his African American friends. Which, you know, in college increasingly he will be.”
I had a friend in high school named Laura. We weren’t close friends, but we had exactly the same birthday, date and year, which maybe made me feel closer to her than I should have. Also, I will say that I have many flaws but racism isn’t among them. I suppose that’s part of my focus on individuals, not groups. I don’t hang out in groups. I’ve never hung out in groups.
Anyway, we both got into UCB and I expected the friendship would continue. But every time I saw Laura on campus, she cut me dead. And I finally realized: She had gotten into a social group that was an outlying satellite of the Black Panthers, she was embracing a racial identity that was more-or-less closed to her as the child of upwardly mobile, high earning parents. Black parents, of course. But professional black parents which in the late 1960s/early 1970s meant camouflaged, even closeted if you will.
Years later I ran into Laura again when I was dating Huey Newton. By this time she was a defeated, tired looking woman with a passel of kids and a low level social services job. I really wanted to ask her, Why did you cut me off like that? It hurt my feelings! But of course I already knew the answer.
I’m not saying RTT’s friendship with Justin will go the way of my certainly much less intense friendship with Laura. But it will change. And RTT’s gotta stop using the N-word.
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no subject
Date: 2012-03-23 03:33 pm (UTC)I agree - R needs to stop it. I really hate it when white kids use that word like its nothing, and for some reason I find it even more offensive when its the kids who are full-on, hip hop fans with the clothes, accessories, swagger. There's a reason why school admins and communities lose their minds every time a high school student organization tries to have a "Wigger Day" during spirit week or whatever. I don't think its a bad thing for white kids to co-opt a different culture or to emulate that same culture, but there are always unspoken taboo lines that are nevertheless drawn and defended. Its part of growing maturity to detect and respect these lines - self-absorbed, "fuck the world, I'm just being me" teens suffer from thinking they're bulletproof, and that they're more socially evolved than the last generation. Hence they feel morally and socially superior because they say nigger with impunity. That's just straight up bullshit wrong. In my view, if you truly loved and respected your black friends you wouldn't call them nigger even if they're okay with it, which IMO I believe no black person is ever totally okay with a white person calling them nigger. It's not a term I associate with friendly comradeship or love. I daresay if RTT met one of his hip-hop heroes, embraced that person and said, "my niggah." he wouldn't likely be invited into the VIP section to party - he'd likely be invited to meet the security staff for a beat down.
I'm not a fan of young people throwing around the words bitch, fag, and gay as descriptors or exclamation points either. And this ain't me being old or stuck in the past - its about common sense, decency, manners and respect - qualities that are timeless and oft forgot from time to time. I'm even uncomfortable with calling co-workers and subordinates (especially subordinates) by a nick name.
no subject
Date: 2012-03-23 03:40 pm (UTC)Yeah, I dated Huey for a few months. I think somewhere in the back annals of this very LJ I've written about it. He was a disturbed individual to say the least, with very little to recommend him. But he was a celebrity in the circles I moved in and I was very young.
no subject
Date: 2012-03-23 04:43 pm (UTC)Hopefully this incident will make Robin see the error of his ways soon.
no subject
Date: 2012-03-23 05:05 pm (UTC)Probably be quite fascinating to research.
no subject
Date: 2012-03-23 05:28 pm (UTC)It would definitely be fascinating! There is this programme on the BBC, Who Do You Think You Are?, in which a famous Brit (or American, nowadays) researches the mysteries surrounding his or her ancestors. Even if I don't know the person I find it usually very interesting to watch.
no subject
Date: 2012-03-23 05:36 pm (UTC)Have you seen the BBC's Lost Kingdoms of Africa series? I'm thinking you'd like it.
no subject
Date: 2012-03-23 05:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-26 02:49 am (UTC)Or she could have been a Christian Arab.
no subject
Date: 2012-03-23 04:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-23 04:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-23 05:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-25 04:43 am (UTC)But he was schooled, and quickly. I do not think he used the word again.
no subject
Date: 2012-03-25 08:57 am (UTC)Also, white rapper Eminem has said he never uses the word, in his songs or otherwise.
I'm surprised your son hasn't been called on it before (by his friends.) Maybe Justin beating up Mac was actually intended as a message for Robin. He may be too worried about losing his friendship to say, "your using that word makes me want to punch you."
no subject
Date: 2012-03-25 11:25 am (UTC)