13 o' clock

[mallorys_camera]

The week between Christmas and New Years always has that 13 o’clock feel to it, doesn’t it?

Did a one on one ESL tutorial with Tenzing yesterday at her home where she lives with her husband and four children, subsidized housing near Route 13. She’s a very plucky woman, I must say. Owned a retail business in India, had a comfortable middle class life. Here she does food service and house cleaning.

“I come for the children,” she tells me. “Here they have more – I don’t know how to say –“

“Opportunities?” I suggest.

“I don’t know that word.”

“When you can have a better life, you have opportunities.”

“Yes, yes. Opportunities.”

Tenzing first studied English at the Dalai Lama’s Dharamsala compound, so she speaks with a rather charming British colonial accent. She doesn’t speak badly within the limits of her vocabulary and inexpert command of verb tenses. But she doesn’t understand more than 30 percent of what’s said to her, possibly because American English sounds so very different from what she’s used to. So she actually has the opposite problem of most people who are learning a foreign language whose comprehension is much better than their speech.

It is true, isn’t it? The U.S. and Canada present opportunities that aren’t available in the rest of the world. They’re not for the immigrants who come over. They’re for their children, their grandchildren. If you have the humility to view yourself as a throwaway generation, your DNA has a chance. Hard work may net them the gold ring. May. A hundred thousand contingencies ride on that “may.” But, of course, in India, there was no chance at all.

Three inches of snow on the ground. Trying to psych myself into being domestic so that I start 2012 with a clean house. But it’s hard to jumpstart myself. I begin the credit union tax training shortly after the New Year, and start working with clients in three weeks.

“You live so much inside your head,” B told me last time I had a full frontal psychological breakdown that required motivational sermons. I’d never thought of myself as a cerebral person particularly. But I suppose it’s true, I am.

Comments

[anais-pf.livejournal.com]

I think there's nothing wrong with living inside one's head, if it's an interesting head. Just be sure to get outside into the sunlight and into nature often. It helps.

[mallorys-camera.livejournal.com]

I think a balance is healthy. In the summer, I have more of that balance because I'm such a demon bike rider and I ride at least ten miles every day. But in the winter, I don't exercise. Particularly because I'm not having sex regularly, my body becomes like this appendage to thought balloons. Not psychologically healthy.

[anais-pf.livejournal.com]

I suppose it's too late for you to take up cross country skiing. What happened to that guy you were thinking of having sex with?

[ccjohn.livejournal.com]

I think this Depression lost us the radio. We're all pen pals and it's a damn good thing. What's the shared culture anymore? --it's hard to tell. We don't have the human voice as much.

[mallorys-camera.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure I understand what the radio has to do with what I've written here. :-)

And anyway, I disagree with you. I think people listen to a lot of radio these days. Although mostly in their cars.

[a1icey.livejournal.com]

today in my extremely intensive rational/emotive behavioral therapy session i talked about how i rely very heavily on my mother when i have broken schemas. and if she's unavailable (eg in england) i basically live in suspended animation/internal mental breakdown until she comes back so i can talk to her and piece it back together again.

your last paragraph reminded me of this. we're working on reducing my dependence on my family so i can move to san francisco safely.

[mallorys-camera.livejournal.com]

Alice, I do understand what a stressful year this has been for you and I admire your process of reinvention a great deal. 2011 can bite both our asses!

[a1icey.livejournal.com]

you are also heading for sf in the spring, right?

[mallorys-camera.livejournal.com]

San Francisco Bay Area, certainly. Probably the East Bay. May take the tax prep training near NYC and then go to CA in the fall, I'm still working out details.

[a1icey.livejournal.com]

i couldn't find any physical tax prep courses in new york state when i looked for it, i think it is entirely online, let me know what you find (this would be extremely good for me to get on my resume).

[mallorys-camera.livejournal.com]

It's the H.R. Block program, and it is affiliated with an online provider, the University of Phoenix. I think some part of it is classroom work though. I'll keep you in the loop.

[a1icey.livejournal.com]

ahh i was thinking you were referring to the certifications provided by the IRS. thanks.

[mallorys-camera.livejournal.com]

The training prepares you for IRS certification. In fact, I am taking my first IRS certification -- for volunteer tax preparation -- on 1/14.