Of Winter Fears, Confrontational Hiphop and Poppy Tea

[mallorys_camera]

Equinox. No getting away from it now: Winter is coming…



Asked by an English teacher two years out of graduate school to write a poem “introducing” himself to his new class, RTT produced the following hiphop parody. It made me laugh out loud. Am I a terrible mother or what?

Hi there, I’m Robin and I’m a fucking freak,
Jack off to dead phppies and anime like a geek,
I’m a fucking Jew – kill Nazis before they speak,
Lucky number ninety-seven with a new victim every week.

Heard some weird shit about Obama today.
No, I don’t want to watch the news, faggot: I’m not gay.
They said this crazy, fuckin’ nigga just legalized bay
Now I’m stuck in a line at Walmart, stealin’ – I don’t pay

Man, FUCK English, I speak English, Chi-Pao,
Wabasaki, wabataki, from your mother to General Tao,
Like an undead fuckin’ zombie muchin’ babies on the prowl
Step back, I’m a WOLF, GR, GR, GROWL, GROWL

Sorry, Miss, you seem totally nice
But I got a fuckin’ ego – you could call it a vice
I’ll offer some words, man, take my advice,
I’m a crazy, fuckin’ loser, kick me out, I ain’t nice

My dentist can’t do anything with the broken molar. It will require an oral surgeon. So on Saturday I’m going to have to drive all the way out to the low cost dental clinic in Binghamton (60 miles) to have it tended to there. My dentist also told me I couldn’t possibly be feeling any pain from that site since the tooth had had a root canal – although, of course, I was feeling pain from that site, so much pain, in fact, that I haven’t been able to sleep for three days.

So yesterday I drove out to the party supply store, bought myself two pounds of poppy seeds and brewed myself up some poppy seed tea! Very effective – I slept like a baby and woke up in a wonderful mood.

Comments

[anais-pf.livejournal.com]

The 2011 September equinox comes on September 23, at 4:05 a.m. CDT (9:05 UTC).

[mallorys-camera.livejournal.com]

Ah! Fall today then! :-)

[anais-pf.livejournal.com]

Yes, and try to enjoy it! It will be three entire months before winter arrives.

[robby.livejournal.com]

I like your photo, it looks like the tree is on fire. The kid needs to go to military school.

[mallorys-camera.livejournal.com]

I thought the poem was pretty funny, but I agree the kid needs to do something. He is riding for an incredible fall and at this point my relationship with him seems mostly to be unpaid cook and housekeeper. Offspring = Tough.

[robby.livejournal.com]

Let's hope there's a generous amount of hip-hop braggadocio there, and he doesn't believe that shit.

[mallorys-camera.livejournal.com]

He doesn't.

[lethe1]

How dare you disrespect your dentist by feeling pain when he/she has said you can't!

Glad the poppy seeds helped.

[mallorys-camera.livejournal.com]

I know! This is one of those (many) situations that wouldn't exist if I had more money and could afford to go to a better dentist.