Charlie Sheen Flowchart

[mallorys_camera]

I've been trying my hardest to resist the Charlie Sheen madness, but some things are just too good to resist. This is from Esquire Mag:

Comments

[robby.livejournal.com]

The poor guy's having a meltdown, and the media's just loving it. Let's hope he's able to get through this alive, and someday get back on track.

[mallorys-camera.livejournal.com]

Yeah. It's the bread and circuses model of governance -- stuff that's happening in the middle east is gonna drive your pump price up to $4.50/gallon, but don't think about that, think about CHARLIE SHEEN.

[bel-ebat.livejournal.com]

toooo good

i resisted everything with him until a couple of days ago, & now i can't believe i resisted it at all. i even follow him on twitter where i get things like this from him: Ready for my next fastball, world? PLAN BETTER. Applies to everything where an excuse now sits. Try it. U won't be wrong. Ever. #PlanBetter

[mallorys-camera.livejournal.com]

Charlie Sheen: better than the IChing!

[saltdawg.livejournal.com]

I don't believe in rock-bottom. Rock bottom is like a fishing term.

[mallorys-camera.livejournal.com]

Well, I don't believe Sheen's schtick has anything to do with drugs at this point. I think he's mentally ill -- probably bipolar -- and all along the drugs have been some kind of self medication. (Cocaine to keep the edge on the manic highs, etc)

[saltdawg.livejournal.com]

Jeeze, man! I wasn't casting any aspersions, I was just making note of an awesomely outrageous quote which I hope doesn't pass out of the public usage.

I admit that there may be some mental illness simmering, however I honestly believe that he's simply fed up with living in a fishbowl and lashing out. While I see signs, I can't see anything that screams "bipolar" over any other half-dozen possible diagnoses...

[mallorys-camera.livejournal.com]

Oh, that was a QUOTE!!!!

Sorry. I'm useless without my 16 cups of coffee every morning. :-)

[sarahk809.livejournal.com]

Agreed...I've heard people in mental hospitals, my own brother for one, talk exactly like Charlie on Good Morning America. It's definitely some sort of mental illness at this point.

[chezsci.livejournal.com]

"One speed. One gear. Go."

- sounds like Nike's new ad campaign. Sheen is a genius.

Charlie Sheen has chunks of Chuck Norris in his stool.

[mallorys-camera.livejournal.com]

When Charlie Sheen goes to sleep every night, he checks under the bed -- for Chuck Norris...

[jdquintette.livejournal.com]

I tried watching "Two and a Half Men" once and gave up after five minutes (and this was while trapped in a hotel room with no other entertainment options but the Gideon Bible), but that's pretty much the way it goes for me with broadcast television anyway. I can't even watch public television anymore, since it became the province of corporate shills. Of course, I don't need to watch it, now that there's netflix :-P

As a recovering addict I recognize a kindred spirit in Sheen. Fortunately my addictions were never enabled by a multimillion dollar salary and the squads of asskissing sycophants that kind of money can buy. Sheen faces a daunting challenge in recovery, since there is likely no one in his social orbit willing to tell him he's an asshole, and his employers seem perfectly willing to throw away 1.8 million per episode on a guy with the functional abilities of the corner crackhead. Seriously. The crackhead on MY corner is just as funny as Sheen. Of course he's black and has no teeth, but still...I bet he'd clean up good on 1.8 million.

This plays into my theory that our society rewards incompetence, especially when it's combined with flamboyant disfunctionality. How else do you explain Anna Nicole Smith, or Courtney Love? None of these people have any real skills; any second year theatrical studies student can act rings around Charlie Sheen, and millions of guitar plinking highschool kids can outplay Courtney Love. The deal is though, you can't JUST be a mediocre actor, or a half-assed musician. You must also be a tabloid-fodder-level train wreck of freak show proportions. THAT is the key to success. Of course, the life expectancy is pretty short on people like that, but I'm sure the TV people have Sheen insured up the yang.