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Mar. 1st, 2011 10:58 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mallorys_cameraBut, alas! the bullshit drama isn’t tired of me.
Last night Jayne LeGro wrote back. A whoozy of a letter – what it lacks in prose style, it makes up in venom. The lackluster prose style does make it a bit difficult to slog through but for anyone interested in the ongoing saga I reproduce it below.
I guess I’m supposed to feel ashamed because I tried to establish friendly relations between the two households.
I grew up in a dysfunctional family. The one bright spot was Annie’s first husband Rik who actively maintained a familial relationship with us all even after Annie and he divorced. When he remarried, his wife Janet became part of the family network.
I always thought this was a positive thing, and indeed their relationship is something of a model in my eyes for how people should deal with former spouses: Love changes, but it doesn’t go away.
I guess this is radical notion, right up there with unions and single-payer healthcare.
Jayne LeGro is a small town girl with a small, dour, humorless mind, clenched as tightly as George W. Bush’s asshole. The real reason for that wedgie up her snatch apparently is that Ben occasionally repairs things around my house. Hello! His son lives here. Maybe that’s why he wants things to be in good working order.
Fuck her. I’m not even going to reply. It must suck being her. That’s its own punishment.
Patrizia:
Please do not include Ben on your replies. Your objection is with me, not him. Let's keep the communication clean and not blur the lines with someone else who is not part of the A to B communication in the first place.
Please remember your words written in earlier e-mails: "things are tense between our households", "I don't think we should continue to be question marks to each other..." "you see Jayne, I want to like you...this is the last part of the healing process..."
You ARE NOT a question to me. You are Robin's mother. Period. I don't need to know anything else unless I decide to. If you have a purient interest in me, that has absolutely nothing to with my relation ship to or with Robin.
"... the Mommy Seal of approval..." Did I miss something? Is Robin 6 years old? Disabled? Not capable of knowing what is a stable and experienced parental figure? I had my son at age 20, was a single parent, worked 2 jobs, put myself through an undergraduate program at Cornell University. I worked off and on with juvenile delinquents for more than five years. I had a daughter later at age 29.5, remained a single parent. If you want references from either of my kids about my ability to parent, mentor, support, befriend youth, OR any of their friends who also lived with me/us at various times, please let me know.
"What goes on with Ben is none of my business..." but "I didn't know about you until October when Robin came to stay with Ben..." "...listen Patrizia, our relationship is massively fucked..., I have a chance to be happy..." Whatever went on with you and Ben and whatever continues to go on in your head in your relationship with Ben and you has NOTHING to do with me. So please don't (a) suggest that what was truly a massively codependent "arrangement" you both had to make it sound like "poor me", I am the last to know anything, or (b) pretend that there is anything about that arrangement that I will cop to or be a part of in your thought process of "extended" family, (e.g., "change is hard" and "the gravy train has ended" means that roles played out for years will now change, your household is YOUR household, ours is ours) and you can fix your own leaks, drains, computers, breakdowns, etc. and whatever else you use to exert your energy.
Let's see, did I leave out anything? Likely? I am SURE you will get back to me.
Last night Jayne LeGro wrote back. A whoozy of a letter – what it lacks in prose style, it makes up in venom. The lackluster prose style does make it a bit difficult to slog through but for anyone interested in the ongoing saga I reproduce it below.
I guess I’m supposed to feel ashamed because I tried to establish friendly relations between the two households.
I grew up in a dysfunctional family. The one bright spot was Annie’s first husband Rik who actively maintained a familial relationship with us all even after Annie and he divorced. When he remarried, his wife Janet became part of the family network.
I always thought this was a positive thing, and indeed their relationship is something of a model in my eyes for how people should deal with former spouses: Love changes, but it doesn’t go away.
I guess this is radical notion, right up there with unions and single-payer healthcare.
Jayne LeGro is a small town girl with a small, dour, humorless mind, clenched as tightly as George W. Bush’s asshole. The real reason for that wedgie up her snatch apparently is that Ben occasionally repairs things around my house. Hello! His son lives here. Maybe that’s why he wants things to be in good working order.
Fuck her. I’m not even going to reply. It must suck being her. That’s its own punishment.
Patrizia:
Please do not include Ben on your replies. Your objection is with me, not him. Let's keep the communication clean and not blur the lines with someone else who is not part of the A to B communication in the first place.
Please remember your words written in earlier e-mails: "things are tense between our households", "I don't think we should continue to be question marks to each other..." "you see Jayne, I want to like you...this is the last part of the healing process..."
You ARE NOT a question to me. You are Robin's mother. Period. I don't need to know anything else unless I decide to. If you have a purient interest in me, that has absolutely nothing to with my relation ship to or with Robin.
"... the Mommy Seal of approval..." Did I miss something? Is Robin 6 years old? Disabled? Not capable of knowing what is a stable and experienced parental figure? I had my son at age 20, was a single parent, worked 2 jobs, put myself through an undergraduate program at Cornell University. I worked off and on with juvenile delinquents for more than five years. I had a daughter later at age 29.5, remained a single parent. If you want references from either of my kids about my ability to parent, mentor, support, befriend youth, OR any of their friends who also lived with me/us at various times, please let me know.
"What goes on with Ben is none of my business..." but "I didn't know about you until October when Robin came to stay with Ben..." "...listen Patrizia, our relationship is massively fucked..., I have a chance to be happy..." Whatever went on with you and Ben and whatever continues to go on in your head in your relationship with Ben and you has NOTHING to do with me. So please don't (a) suggest that what was truly a massively codependent "arrangement" you both had to make it sound like "poor me", I am the last to know anything, or (b) pretend that there is anything about that arrangement that I will cop to or be a part of in your thought process of "extended" family, (e.g., "change is hard" and "the gravy train has ended" means that roles played out for years will now change, your household is YOUR household, ours is ours) and you can fix your own leaks, drains, computers, breakdowns, etc. and whatever else you use to exert your energy.
Let's see, did I leave out anything? Likely? I am SURE you will get back to me.
