Taking a Break From Soldiering
Dec. 7th, 2010 09:33 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mallorys_cameraI was so-o-o firmly convinced that the power of my magical thinking – and that power alone! – was going to ward off snow for the next 4 months.
But no-o-o-o-o…
We get the infamous lake effect on this side of the hill. Hundred and ten miles away from Lake Ontario but it’s still my master. Ten miles away in the comfortable valley, Ithaca is a little colder than here but more-or-less snow free.
I realize this is an insane wish from a 58-year-old woman, but I want someone to give me a life plan. Say, “These are the kinds of things you need to be doing, and if you do them, you can make your life better.” I won’t say I’m filled with despair this morning – my sense of humor saves me from that – but I will say I’m feeling rather down. The ghostwriting is taking a lot out of me – 30,000 words into the project and I’m watching the words go round and round in my head like so many socks in the dryer. I don’t even know if they make sense anymore. And the dental issues are depressing – there’s the temporary fix and then there’s the permanent fix. The permanent fix will cost about $6,000 – which I know I can acquire if I put my mind to it. But right now I’m feeling singularly bereft of purpose. It’s kind of a vicious cycle – you can’t get any kind of good job if your oral hygiene makes you look like a meth addict in rural Arkansas and you can’t pay for dental work if you don’t have some kind of good job…
Enough whining.
Soldier on!
But no-o-o-o-o…
We get the infamous lake effect on this side of the hill. Hundred and ten miles away from Lake Ontario but it’s still my master. Ten miles away in the comfortable valley, Ithaca is a little colder than here but more-or-less snow free.
I realize this is an insane wish from a 58-year-old woman, but I want someone to give me a life plan. Say, “These are the kinds of things you need to be doing, and if you do them, you can make your life better.” I won’t say I’m filled with despair this morning – my sense of humor saves me from that – but I will say I’m feeling rather down. The ghostwriting is taking a lot out of me – 30,000 words into the project and I’m watching the words go round and round in my head like so many socks in the dryer. I don’t even know if they make sense anymore. And the dental issues are depressing – there’s the temporary fix and then there’s the permanent fix. The permanent fix will cost about $6,000 – which I know I can acquire if I put my mind to it. But right now I’m feeling singularly bereft of purpose. It’s kind of a vicious cycle – you can’t get any kind of good job if your oral hygiene makes you look like a meth addict in rural Arkansas and you can’t pay for dental work if you don’t have some kind of good job…
Enough whining.
Soldier on!
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the tooth fairy give up after a while...
Date: 2010-12-07 04:08 pm (UTC)I kind of envy you the ghost writing assignment... i imagine its like a vacation, like it would be relief from banging my head against my own stuff
Re: the tooth fairy give up after a while...
Date: 2010-12-07 04:36 pm (UTC)Re: the tooth fairy give up after a while...
Date: 2010-12-07 04:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-12-07 10:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-12-08 12:15 am (UTC)http://www.kwanumzen.org/primarypoint/v02n2-1985-spring-dssn-comingemptyhanded.html