Mystery Spots
Jun. 16th, 2003 12:44 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mallorys_cameraBen and Robin off to points east and adventure. I fixed the yellow Santa Cruz Mystery Spot on the RV's rear bumper just before they left.
"Now the beneficent magnetic force of all roadside attractions everywhere, working together in harmonic convergence, is with you," I explained to Robin. "Plus if you break down west of Reno, I'll come get you."
"What's Reno?" he asked.
The sense of melancholy and loss was so strong I felt like crying. But really, I didn't know where it was coming from. From the departure of a much-loved child who really needs a mother with a stronger hand and a less distractible emotional resolution than the one he has? From the simultaneous departure of the child's father, a man I once loved passionately and for whom I now entertain an ambivalent affection tempered with disappointment? From the looming business decision? Or from the bizarre events of the weekend just past, a kind of contemporary remake of The Masque of the Red Death? So out of touch with my own emotions am I that I really couldn't tell you.
I have decisions to make in the next few weeks. Important decisions.
But right now I feel paralyzed.
"Now the beneficent magnetic force of all roadside attractions everywhere, working together in harmonic convergence, is with you," I explained to Robin. "Plus if you break down west of Reno, I'll come get you."
"What's Reno?" he asked.
The sense of melancholy and loss was so strong I felt like crying. But really, I didn't know where it was coming from. From the departure of a much-loved child who really needs a mother with a stronger hand and a less distractible emotional resolution than the one he has? From the simultaneous departure of the child's father, a man I once loved passionately and for whom I now entertain an ambivalent affection tempered with disappointment? From the looming business decision? Or from the bizarre events of the weekend just past, a kind of contemporary remake of The Masque of the Red Death? So out of touch with my own emotions am I that I really couldn't tell you.
I have decisions to make in the next few weeks. Important decisions.
But right now I feel paralyzed.
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Long *sigh*
Date: 2003-06-17 07:35 am (UTC)My grandpa once said, "The key to jumping off the high dive is closing your eyes and jumping, cause even though your falling you still feel like your flying." He would always say that to me when ever I was worried about something. He would go on to say, "Enjoy the flight, even though you eventually land, you can always fly again, and getting a little wet on the flight is always worth it." I don't know if this will help you, but it never hurts.
Re: Long *sigh*
Date: 2003-06-18 11:22 am (UTC)Re: Long *sigh*
Date: 2003-06-18 12:44 pm (UTC)