The Sad and Cautionary Moral Tale of Dog the Bounty Hunter

[mallorys_camera]

The really big news this morning as oil reaches for $100 and the stock market plunges and Hillary's advisors dance the Headless Chicken (kinda like the Funky Chicken only you pretend your head is in a noose) is the Fall of Dog Chapman, a Cautionary Moral Tale for the ages.

Dog Chapman – for those of you who have better taste in late night insomniac television viewing than I do – is the bounty hunter whose life A&E has been chronicling for several years now. A&E call him "the greatest bounty hunter of all time!" I don't know. I think that's a gratuitous Steve McQueen dis.

But that's nothing in comparison with the dis below:

http://www.nationalenquirer.com/2007/popup/full-wmv.html

There's a certain Cassandra-like prescience to this sound byte. Dog's no dummy. He doesn't want his son dating an African American girl, he says, because chez Dog they use the N-word on a casual basis; he doesn't want somebody taping this and selling it to the tabloids: "I'm not gonna take a chance ever in life of loosing everything I've worked for for thirty years because some fuckin' n_____ heard us say n_____ and turned us in to the Enquirer Magazine –"

(Yeah, I know. Kind of mealy-mouthed to render it in dashes. But the word makes me queasy. I can't even use it when I'm talking about the rap group who recorded Straight Outta Compton. I've been well conditioned, I guess.)

" – Our career is over. I'm not taking that chance at all!"

And yet that's exactly what he was doing! A real M.C. Escher buh! moment, the hand drawing the hand.

I'll miss Dog. Cheesy television really is the best soporific plus, you know, now I'll never know the secret behind Beth's formidable rack.

Comments

[misslam2u.livejournal.com]

Wow, that's a nasty little sound bite there, huh?

On the black to white continuum, I reckon that Dog is at one end and I'm down at the other end, wherein I'm doing everything I can to prevent my former in-laws ever having a blue eyed baby out of one of my blue eyed babies, what with little girlfriends named Myeshia and Veronica.

Oxo thinks her rack is absolutely amazing. I think her hair is. It looks like it could set on fire any second she's giving one of those crack heads a cig.

I just always assume cops and the like are racists. It's such a safe bet.

[mallorys-camera.livejournal.com]

I don't think Dog's objection to the girlfriend was that she's black. At least not in the specific sense that most racists mean it. And part of me does think he's being set up a little here. I do think it's strange that the N-word is common parlance for African Americans but off-limits to whites.

I've known quite a few cops personally over the years. Some of them are racists, many of them are not. Of course the ones I know are in California -- things may be different in the Lone Star State.

And yeah, pretty much all of Beth is absolutely amazing. And I don't mean that as a compliment! :-)

[nokomisjeff.livejournal.com]

I think every human being on this planet is a racist to some degree.

Aloha,

Jeff

[mallorys-camera.livejournal.com]

I think you're wrong there, or at least -- people of our generation are all racist to some degree, but I don't think our children are. I mean -- it would be incorrect to say Max and Robin don't notice the color of a person's skin. But for them it's a cultural thing, kind of like noticing that somebody's of Swedish extraction (likes lindeberries!) or Italian (likes lasagna!) It's not freighted the way it is for you and me.

[nokomisjeff.livejournal.com]

You, as usual are 100% correct. I was only thinking in our generation and the previous ones, for white people. The black kids I know are still somewhat racist. Whether they have a case or not, I will not attempt to judge. My definition of racism is "Whenever one's race is used in a decision that the race factor will affect the outcome...." Racial comments, while they might be wrong aren't necessarily a sign of endemic racism. I know plenty of kids that use the word "Nigga," and they aren't racist.

Thhat reminds me of an old story. An old family friend (very colorful character) was the quintessential Southern redneck...like the ones you see in the movies. He wore mirrored sunglasses, had a nice straw hat, and chewed on the stump of a cigar. He was like that sheriff in the old Dodge commercial who said, "Boy, you're in a heap of trouble." However, this guy, who was in his 60's had a heart of gold. He would give you the shirt off his back if you were in need. While he professed a hatred of blacks, when asked about the blacks he dealt with on a day to day basis, he'd say "Oh, so and so is a good nigger, and on and on." Once, he was visiting my lovely wife and I when we lived up north. We were sitting outside looking at a crew of black guys clearing off the lot next door and loading the stuff into dumpsters. My friend went up to the group and asked for the "Boss Man" He then asked the "Boss Man," "Hey boy, what do they pay you niggers up here to do this kind of work."....My heart sunk, and my sphincter tightened at that, when the black guy diffused the situation. He said, "Sir, we get paid by the job, and we'll get $400 to clear this lot." He was very polite, and engaged in some idle, friendly chit chat with my friend. He was wise enough to know what my friend was all about and decided not start a scene. The black guy was a gentleman, and my friend, while no less a gentleman, was just a product of his breeding.

Aloha,

Jeff

[pageeater.livejournal.com]

What a shame. Stupid stupid man.
And I don't believe that "every human being on this planet is a racist to some degree" - not for a minute.

[mallorys-camera.livejournal.com]

Huh. I think it's true to some degree of our generation -- I wish it weren't. But I don't think it's true of our children's generation, and I firmly believe that in another hundred years -- assuming the human race survives that long -- everyone's skin will be a beautiful cafe au lait brown.