![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Difficult day yesterday & insomnia at night.
I am incredibly isolated here, having absolutely no one to hang out with or do the rough-&-tumble cosmic littermate thing with. But I've been isolated for weeks now without it making the slightest dent in my general bonhomie.
No, I'm thinking this depression has to do with the declining daylight. Hello Seasonal Affective Disorder, my old friend.
Managing SAD is gonna be a challenge this year.
For the past four or five years, I've managed it by staying absolutely blitzed on cannabis for three months, but I can't really do that this year on account of I've been hired by IM Schlock to do taxes, and so must maintain a clear brain.
###
I didn't exercise yesterday. Maybe that was part of the depression.
###
Did manage to write a 1,000 words on the Work in Progress.
Didn't feel connected to what I wrote at all, which means I'm kind of like an airplane pilot flying by instrumental controls rather than by sight. At this point, I just have to trust that craft will get me through it: I am very good with words, and that excellence is there whether I'm emotionally tapped into it or not.
Neal & Grazia have finished meeting. Neal has been properly humiliated for his sexual boastfulness. There is some other moderately sexually explicit stuff.
In the final Chapter 2 coda, we explore the Neal/Grazia friendship. The coda ends with a scene in which Grazia gives Neal a backrub, looks at his naked back, wonders, Should I pounce? And decides, Nah...
Chapter 3 will be Grazia working at the hospital during COVID. I don't have the foggiest idea what happens except it starts with Grazia scoring N95 Respirator masks from a crack cocaine dealer at 4 o'clock in the morning. At some point, Grazia has to have a complete psychological breakdown, and then she has to have some kind of spiritual awakening & recover. Of course, it is actually Neal who rescues Grazia from her psychological breakdown, but she doesn't realize this. The reader must, though.
###
Anyway, apart from Work in Progress, it's all a bunch of Remuneration and tax class slog. Which I must commence with right now.
I am incredibly isolated here, having absolutely no one to hang out with or do the rough-&-tumble cosmic littermate thing with. But I've been isolated for weeks now without it making the slightest dent in my general bonhomie.
No, I'm thinking this depression has to do with the declining daylight. Hello Seasonal Affective Disorder, my old friend.
Managing SAD is gonna be a challenge this year.
For the past four or five years, I've managed it by staying absolutely blitzed on cannabis for three months, but I can't really do that this year on account of I've been hired by IM Schlock to do taxes, and so must maintain a clear brain.
###
I didn't exercise yesterday. Maybe that was part of the depression.
###
Did manage to write a 1,000 words on the Work in Progress.
Didn't feel connected to what I wrote at all, which means I'm kind of like an airplane pilot flying by instrumental controls rather than by sight. At this point, I just have to trust that craft will get me through it: I am very good with words, and that excellence is there whether I'm emotionally tapped into it or not.
Neal & Grazia have finished meeting. Neal has been properly humiliated for his sexual boastfulness. There is some other moderately sexually explicit stuff.
In the final Chapter 2 coda, we explore the Neal/Grazia friendship. The coda ends with a scene in which Grazia gives Neal a backrub, looks at his naked back, wonders, Should I pounce? And decides, Nah...
Chapter 3 will be Grazia working at the hospital during COVID. I don't have the foggiest idea what happens except it starts with Grazia scoring N95 Respirator masks from a crack cocaine dealer at 4 o'clock in the morning. At some point, Grazia has to have a complete psychological breakdown, and then she has to have some kind of spiritual awakening & recover. Of course, it is actually Neal who rescues Grazia from her psychological breakdown, but she doesn't realize this. The reader must, though.
###
Anyway, apart from Work in Progress, it's all a bunch of Remuneration and tax class slog. Which I must commence with right now.
