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Fame is fleeting, Jennifer Lawrence!
Jun. 23rd, 2023 10:47 amTurns out that at least one of the Chinese scientists who came down with proto-COVID symptoms in 2019 was working on a U.S.-funded coronavirus project.
Huh.
So, the whole Pangolin ribeye in the weird Chinese market myth was a U.S. coverup, not a Chinese coverup.
Figures.
Only in America could the media sell Your grandpa died ‘cause those creepy Chinese eat weird shit! as the anti-racist explanation for the pandemic.
The revelation that COVID, in all likelihood, was a lab leak was not a surprise. But the revelation that it is an AMERICAN coverup is mind-boggling. I actually feel slightly stunned. Though I get that I shouldn't. Thankfully, any residual shred of credibility the U.S. intelligence industry or the U.S. media may have had for me has now finally disbursed forever.
###
It was supposed to rain yesterday.
It didn’t.
It’s supposed to rain today.
The sky is blue as forget-me-nots.
It hasn’t really rained here since April.
All houses hereabouts are surrounded by greenswards roughly the size of Rockefeller Center, except that those greenswards are all now brownswards.
I don’t think the meteorologists are calling it a drought. Yet. I think they’re still calling it “abnormally dry.”
###
Meanwhile.
I felt very, very sorry for myself all day long yesterday!
All my Banter Buddies were traveling in Colorado or the Alps, or they were at work, or they were somewhere else where their good pal Patrizia’s need for banter—an almost metabolic need!—was not foremost in their minds.
I Remunerated all day long and thought mean thoughts.
Finally, around 4 pm, I decided to knock off and go to the movies even though there was absolutely nothing I wanted to see.
I settled on something called No Hard Feelings because I am beneficently disposed toward Jennifer Lawrence.
Which is not the same thing as actually liking Jennifer Lawrence.
But anyway, it didn’t really matter what movie I saw because, really, I wasn’t going to the movies, I was going to sit in a big, dark room for two hours and nibble stale Raisinets.
###
Why does Hollywood hate you so much, Jennifer Lawrence? I wondered about ten minutes into No Hard Feelings.
What did you do? Is it because you dated Darren Aronofsky? Is it because you broke up Chris Pratt's and Anna Faris's marriage? Is it because you pass out drunk in the back of every Uber you take? Is it because you told Ellen DeGeneres your cat is trans?
Whatever the reason, if No Hard Feelings is supposed to be Lawrence’s come-back—which the movie’s publicists tell us it is—it’s clear that the show business industry would like Jennifer Lawrence to go far, far away.
I tsk-tsked about this all the while I contemplated buying a second box of stale Raisinets.
Seems like just yesterday that Jennifer Lawrence was the Hollywood It Girl.
And yet, just about every one of her close-ups in No Hard Feelings reveals a slight but unmistakable double chin.
Which is a sure sign that in her next film role, Jennifer Lawrence will be cast as Jennifer Lopez’s white BFF.
And in the film after that, she'll be Timothée Chalamet’s mother.
And after that, she’ll have to be either a collateral ancestor or a collateral descendent of Kevin Costner on one of Taylor Sheridan’s boring TV shows.
Fame is fleeting, Jennifer Lawrence!
It is the blight that Man was born for.
It is Jennifer you mourn for.
###
(Edited to add that the sky is now grey, so maybe it will rain after all.)
Huh.
So, the whole Pangolin ribeye in the weird Chinese market myth was a U.S. coverup, not a Chinese coverup.
Figures.
Only in America could the media sell Your grandpa died ‘cause those creepy Chinese eat weird shit! as the anti-racist explanation for the pandemic.
The revelation that COVID, in all likelihood, was a lab leak was not a surprise. But the revelation that it is an AMERICAN coverup is mind-boggling. I actually feel slightly stunned. Though I get that I shouldn't. Thankfully, any residual shred of credibility the U.S. intelligence industry or the U.S. media may have had for me has now finally disbursed forever.
###
It was supposed to rain yesterday.
It didn’t.
It’s supposed to rain today.
The sky is blue as forget-me-nots.
It hasn’t really rained here since April.
All houses hereabouts are surrounded by greenswards roughly the size of Rockefeller Center, except that those greenswards are all now brownswards.
I don’t think the meteorologists are calling it a drought. Yet. I think they’re still calling it “abnormally dry.”
###
Meanwhile.
I felt very, very sorry for myself all day long yesterday!
All my Banter Buddies were traveling in Colorado or the Alps, or they were at work, or they were somewhere else where their good pal Patrizia’s need for banter—an almost metabolic need!—was not foremost in their minds.
I Remunerated all day long and thought mean thoughts.
Finally, around 4 pm, I decided to knock off and go to the movies even though there was absolutely nothing I wanted to see.
I settled on something called No Hard Feelings because I am beneficently disposed toward Jennifer Lawrence.
Which is not the same thing as actually liking Jennifer Lawrence.
But anyway, it didn’t really matter what movie I saw because, really, I wasn’t going to the movies, I was going to sit in a big, dark room for two hours and nibble stale Raisinets.
###
Why does Hollywood hate you so much, Jennifer Lawrence? I wondered about ten minutes into No Hard Feelings.
What did you do? Is it because you dated Darren Aronofsky? Is it because you broke up Chris Pratt's and Anna Faris's marriage? Is it because you pass out drunk in the back of every Uber you take? Is it because you told Ellen DeGeneres your cat is trans?
Whatever the reason, if No Hard Feelings is supposed to be Lawrence’s come-back—which the movie’s publicists tell us it is—it’s clear that the show business industry would like Jennifer Lawrence to go far, far away.
I tsk-tsked about this all the while I contemplated buying a second box of stale Raisinets.
Seems like just yesterday that Jennifer Lawrence was the Hollywood It Girl.
And yet, just about every one of her close-ups in No Hard Feelings reveals a slight but unmistakable double chin.
Which is a sure sign that in her next film role, Jennifer Lawrence will be cast as Jennifer Lopez’s white BFF.
And in the film after that, she'll be Timothée Chalamet’s mother.
And after that, she’ll have to be either a collateral ancestor or a collateral descendent of Kevin Costner on one of Taylor Sheridan’s boring TV shows.
Fame is fleeting, Jennifer Lawrence!
It is the blight that Man was born for.
It is Jennifer you mourn for.
###
(Edited to add that the sky is now grey, so maybe it will rain after all.)
