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Clover & Lipstick
Feb. 21st, 2023 06:17 amClover was back again this year to have her taxes done.
She has a new last name: Ziller!
But she doesn’t seem to like it very much.
“Congratulations, Mrs. Ziller,” I told her.
She made a face.
(Of course, neither “Clover” nor “Ziller” are her real names.)
The entire time I was doing her tax calculations, she kept asking me, “So what happens if I file Married Filing Separately instead of Married Filing Jointly?”
“I wouldn’t advise it,” I told her. “Married Filing Separately is absolutely the worst tax status.”
Her new husband is unemployed. But I think her problems with him go deeper than that because then she asked me, “Do you think I should get divorced?”
And I thought, How the fuck should I know?
She was just dying to tell me all about her marital problems, and I kept heading her off at the pass by telling her about an imaginary IRA that if she set it up and funded it with what she owes the IRS, she could get a whopping $1,000 tax credit!
This is something I noticed, too, both when I was an ER nurse and when I was an entertainment journalist: When I’m on in a professional manner, people want to tell me their life stories.
It was a very useful talent when I was an entertainment journalist because I could get celebrities to tell me all kinds of crazy shit, but it is a relatively useless talent for an ER nurse or a volunteer tax preparer because life stories seldom shed light on medical diagnoses or help to determine which expenses and circumstances can best result in tax deductions and credits.
###
Long-time readers may remember the Only Lipstick I’ve Ever ❤️LUV❤️ed was Kat von D Gothica, an iridescent bronze color with golden flecks, which made me look like my own best fantasies of how I should be styled in the Afterlife at the awards ceremony for the Best Diary E-vah.
Alas! Kat von D sold her company and got out of the makeup game three years back. The company rebranded, and they now make shit lipstick under the aegis KVD.
There are still a few Kat von D lipsticks floating around on Amazon and eBay, but none of them are Kat von D Gothica.
However…
Two months ago, I went out on a limb and bought two other colors—Kat von D Lolita and Kat von D Adora—and I gotta say, they are Not Bad:
I don’t normally wear lipstick.
But I like this look!
So, I am thinking of buying up all the Kat von D lipsticks still in existence.
She has a new last name: Ziller!
But she doesn’t seem to like it very much.
“Congratulations, Mrs. Ziller,” I told her.
She made a face.
(Of course, neither “Clover” nor “Ziller” are her real names.)
The entire time I was doing her tax calculations, she kept asking me, “So what happens if I file Married Filing Separately instead of Married Filing Jointly?”
“I wouldn’t advise it,” I told her. “Married Filing Separately is absolutely the worst tax status.”
Her new husband is unemployed. But I think her problems with him go deeper than that because then she asked me, “Do you think I should get divorced?”
And I thought, How the fuck should I know?
She was just dying to tell me all about her marital problems, and I kept heading her off at the pass by telling her about an imaginary IRA that if she set it up and funded it with what she owes the IRS, she could get a whopping $1,000 tax credit!
This is something I noticed, too, both when I was an ER nurse and when I was an entertainment journalist: When I’m on in a professional manner, people want to tell me their life stories.
It was a very useful talent when I was an entertainment journalist because I could get celebrities to tell me all kinds of crazy shit, but it is a relatively useless talent for an ER nurse or a volunteer tax preparer because life stories seldom shed light on medical diagnoses or help to determine which expenses and circumstances can best result in tax deductions and credits.
###
Long-time readers may remember the Only Lipstick I’ve Ever ❤️LUV❤️ed was Kat von D Gothica, an iridescent bronze color with golden flecks, which made me look like my own best fantasies of how I should be styled in the Afterlife at the awards ceremony for the Best Diary E-vah.
Alas! Kat von D sold her company and got out of the makeup game three years back. The company rebranded, and they now make shit lipstick under the aegis KVD.
There are still a few Kat von D lipsticks floating around on Amazon and eBay, but none of them are Kat von D Gothica.
However…
Two months ago, I went out on a limb and bought two other colors—Kat von D Lolita and Kat von D Adora—and I gotta say, they are Not Bad:
I don’t normally wear lipstick.
But I like this look!
So, I am thinking of buying up all the Kat von D lipsticks still in existence.
