Seasonal Affective Disorder

Some time yesterday afternoon as I sunk deeper and deeper into despair over the sorry state of the world and the vulnerability of everyone I love to its vicissitudes, it occurred to me that what I was feeling was SAD—Seasonal Affective Disorder.

I mean, the world is always a sucky place, no? Punctuated by brief bursts of telepathy and vistas of terrible beauty.

But most of the time, I ignore that.

Well. Not ignore. Distract myself from it. See it but only as something in my peripheral vision.

But yesterday was so gloomy and grim. Waiting to snow but not really snowing, and then when it finally did snow, it wasn’t a real snow, it quickly turned to rain on account of the strange temperature fluctuations besetting us this year.

Another anticlimax.

Another potential wasted.

I hammered away at my modestly well-paying economic analyses, but really I was thinking, WTF? Who gives a shit?

Felt so irrelevant—and I mean, who isn’t irrelevant when you get right down to it? Who isn’t just another handful of dust that, for a couple of seconds, was a relic in dead hands?

Too bad I didn’t have any gummies!!!!!!!!

They would have taken care of my existential angst!!!!!

But I stopped doing gummies on a regular basis at the beginning of January because impending TaxBwana: I want to be completely clearheaded when I am working with other people’s money.

And I didn’t keep a small stash around the house for recreational/emergency purposes because I was so used to doing them on a daily basis that I knew I wouldn’t save them for recreational/emergency purposes, I would just do them.

By February, I should be completely over the urge to Just Do Them and can make that lovely drive up to Great Barrington once again.

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Anyway, it is sunny and bright today, so I am back to feeling sanguine. Comparatively. Because the world is still in a sorry state, and the only reason the war in Ukraine isn’t being called World War III yet is because none of those Russian tanks have yet to fumble across the invisible Ukrainian/Polish border.