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I Enjoy Being a Jew-w-w-w-w!!!!
Sep. 29th, 2019 10:24 amL'shanah tovah tikatev v'taihatem!!!!!
Yesterday was a rerun of summer. Eighty degrees! Sunlight falling like a benediction, turning everything into a landscape painting by that French artist whose name you forget but whom you liked much better than Renoir, Seurat or Claude Monet when you studied Art History approximately 35 million years ago!
So I ventured out of the house.
Sat on a bench overlooking the Hudson. Read a very bad memoir by Nora Ephron.
Watched people walk five feet without collapsing into quivering heaps of catarrh. And other similarly amazing acrobatic feats!
I worked on my musical! I’m strictly a secular Fru-mer-r-r-r! (Sung to the tune of I Enjoy Being a Girl.)
Speaking of which, this is a very interesting article. Talk about grandma's secret kugel recipe, eh?
It’s really astonishing the degree to which my emotional state is determined by full spectrum light.
If it’s sunny out, I’m generally happy.
If it’s cloudy, raining, or (ugh!) snowing, I’m melancholic, misanthropic, petulant, and a big fan of extinction events.
###
I am taking a break from revenue generation today to hang out with Lois Lane whom I haven’t seen in many months.
Lois Lane shocked the shit out of me not so very long ago by referring to me in email as a “close friend.”
It is true that there’s a permanent place setting for her at the Inner Circle table.
Lois Lane gets it.
But as she is flighty and inconsistent about responding to my overtures of friendship, I figured my friendship feelings were not reciprocated.
That’s okay! Reciprocity is not a prerequisite for Inner Circle membership. Lots of dead people sit at that table. Some living people, too, who don’t have the pleasure of my acquaintance.
And I’m perfectly happy to force my company on people who don’t want it if they can’t bring themselves to say no, and I find their company entertaining!
Lois Lane had the most bizarre and troubling upbringing of anyone I know, which naturally inclines her to be skittish and distrustful. Plus her job as the Literacy Connection’s Programming Director forces her to be upbeat, relentlessly cheerful, and extroverted! And she’s really good at her job.
(Parenthetical aside: I know so many people who are really good at being extroverts who claim to be introverts!)
I quite understand why Lois Lane prefers to hole up in her apartment on weekends, smoking cigarettes and massive quantities of dope, seeing no one but her cats and—most begrudgingly—her boyfriend whom she can’t avoid because he lives with her.
But since she accepted my overture, I’m gonna force her out of the house and down to the Hudson River so we can throw bread in the waters and purge ourselves of all our sins. This is what Rosh Hashanah is all about, after all.
So much more efficient than that bizarre Catholic cannibal weekly sin-purge process, don’t you think?
Yesterday was a rerun of summer. Eighty degrees! Sunlight falling like a benediction, turning everything into a landscape painting by that French artist whose name you forget but whom you liked much better than Renoir, Seurat or Claude Monet when you studied Art History approximately 35 million years ago!
So I ventured out of the house.
Sat on a bench overlooking the Hudson. Read a very bad memoir by Nora Ephron.
Watched people walk five feet without collapsing into quivering heaps of catarrh. And other similarly amazing acrobatic feats!
I worked on my musical! I’m strictly a secular Fru-mer-r-r-r! (Sung to the tune of I Enjoy Being a Girl.)
Speaking of which, this is a very interesting article. Talk about grandma's secret kugel recipe, eh?
It’s really astonishing the degree to which my emotional state is determined by full spectrum light.
If it’s sunny out, I’m generally happy.
If it’s cloudy, raining, or (ugh!) snowing, I’m melancholic, misanthropic, petulant, and a big fan of extinction events.
###
I am taking a break from revenue generation today to hang out with Lois Lane whom I haven’t seen in many months.
Lois Lane shocked the shit out of me not so very long ago by referring to me in email as a “close friend.”
It is true that there’s a permanent place setting for her at the Inner Circle table.
Lois Lane gets it.
But as she is flighty and inconsistent about responding to my overtures of friendship, I figured my friendship feelings were not reciprocated.
That’s okay! Reciprocity is not a prerequisite for Inner Circle membership. Lots of dead people sit at that table. Some living people, too, who don’t have the pleasure of my acquaintance.
And I’m perfectly happy to force my company on people who don’t want it if they can’t bring themselves to say no, and I find their company entertaining!
Lois Lane had the most bizarre and troubling upbringing of anyone I know, which naturally inclines her to be skittish and distrustful. Plus her job as the Literacy Connection’s Programming Director forces her to be upbeat, relentlessly cheerful, and extroverted! And she’s really good at her job.
(Parenthetical aside: I know so many people who are really good at being extroverts who claim to be introverts!)
I quite understand why Lois Lane prefers to hole up in her apartment on weekends, smoking cigarettes and massive quantities of dope, seeing no one but her cats and—most begrudgingly—her boyfriend whom she can’t avoid because he lives with her.
But since she accepted my overture, I’m gonna force her out of the house and down to the Hudson River so we can throw bread in the waters and purge ourselves of all our sins. This is what Rosh Hashanah is all about, after all.
So much more efficient than that bizarre Catholic cannibal weekly sin-purge process, don’t you think?
