Of Networking and the Dutchess County Poorhouse

After it stopped raining yesterday, I drove here.

Well, not here exactly since this shot was taken in the year 2000.

But there: Dutchess County’s old potters’ field, the graveyard associated with the 19th century poorhouse, which I think is still standing, one of the incredibly dilapidated buildings on a long-abandoned property just outside Millbrook.

Pretty in its way

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This outing was part of my ongoing parade stand review, my periodic attempts to achieve perspective on the consumer culture I mostly live and breathe. Dude! John Donne would have been my BFF if only they’d had Twitter back in the 17th century.

I took it all in from a safe distance because I don’t want to contract Lyme’s Disease. The area is incredibly overgrown. Tic paradise in other words.

Several weeks ago, after depositing RTT at JFK for his flight to Israel, I woke up the next morning in the Hudson Valley, idly scratched what I thought was a bug bite on my shoulder, only to discover it was a ginormous tic. Ewwww!!

Had a helluva time disembedding said tic.

And what was most bizarre was that I had to have picked it up in Manhattan somewhere. Maybe in the little park outside the Museum of Natural History? Who knows.

Anyway, since then I’ve been super cautious on my outside jaunts.

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The Millbrook site was eerie. Very silent. The sun, which had been skittering in and out of clouds all day throughout the rest of the Hudson Valley, beat down relentlessly on this one spot. As recently as a decade ago, according to reports, you could wander here and find grave markers, but I don’t think you could do that now. It’s too overgrown. But what was odd was that it was blazing hot there, like 90 degrees. And in the low 70s everywhere else.

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Over the past few months, I’ve gotten into the habit of spending ten days in back-to-back sociability followed by a week more-or-less alone. Probably not a good habit. I’m pretty sociable. When I spend so much time alone – and both my work and my living situations are weirdly solitary despite the physical presence of others – I get lonely. My self-esteem plummets. I think, Gee, I must be a really repulsive person; otherwise I’d have more friends.

Actually, I have a fair number of friends. I'm good at connecting with other people.

What I don't have is the requisite tribe of congenial acquaintances. Because I suck at networking.

Never had a clue how to pull that networking stuff off. Never! Have always had a talent for connection, but hey! most of the interactions one has with one’s fellow humans are not connections but parallel play.

Never could see the point of superficial social interactions on an ongoing basis. I mean – I’m actually quite good at talking to random strangers, people I meet in stores, or standing in line, or at a party. I was a terrific interviewer when I worked as a journalist. I’m genuinely interested in other people’s stories. But after I extract their stories, I'm done. I’m ready never to talk to them again. Because I’m not at all interested in other people’s opinions and it seems to me that that’s what the majority of superficial human interactions consist of, the exchange of opinions.

Why should I give a shit about your opinions? Mine are better.

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When I was married, of course, it didn’t matter that I didn’t like to network.

Well. I think I probably would have been much more successful professionally if I’d learned to network, but that’s another issue entirely.

When I was married, of course, loneliness was never a consequence of my aversion to networking. Because I always had someone to hang out with.

But I'm often lonely now, so I think I gotta bite the bullet and learn the dreaded networking skill, even at my advanced age. Because otherwise, I'm gonna be moping around sniveling to myself about how lonely I feel when actually I've cleared the deck to get important work done. I've programmed solitary time. It's something I want.

I think maybe I need to start going to that yoga class. Find a couple of other congregational activities that I can do for an hour or so throughout the week.

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Starting tonight, everything gets very busy again for 10 days.

Tonight I’m going to Ellen D’s wake for Lucius at the KGB, which should be… sad.

I can’t help wondering where Lucius's mind would have skittered with ISIS – yeah, yeah, yeah, the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria, but also the Egyptian goddess of slaves and sinners who brought the very first Christ prototype back to life when she resurrected her brother/husband Osiris. Imagine a revolutionary political movement based on that.