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Delusions of Grandeur; Autumn Leaves
Sep. 3rd, 2011 08:51 amI slept last night. Boy, did I sleep. I slept like I haven’t slept in years – nine full hours. Feel so much better.
Still, yesterday was a very bad day.
I keep thinking: This is my Scarlett O’Hara moment! Here I sprawl on the dark red earth of my own private Tara, radish aloft, declaring, As God is my witness, I’ll never be hungry again!
Except I am always hungry again. Plus the rent is due, the NYSEG is due, the phone is due, the fees on my worldly possessions, holed up in Monterey CA are due…
Scarlett O’Hara had backup at least. Mammy was a powerful ally.
I feel pretty desperate. So what else is new? What’s odd though is that apparently I’m not projecting desperate vibes. Strangers make a point of talking to me in bank lines, in grocery store lines. “There’s something really special about you, you know?” one of them said to me yesterday.
“Special? About me? Well, that’s kind of you but I suspect we’re all special,” I said.
She shook her head. “We’re not. I mean – we are. But you’re in a different class.”
That’s right, feed my delusions of grandeur, old hippie!
I have a date tonight with a rather eccentric architect with whom I share a passion for John Harrison’s invention of the marine chronometer. We’ll see how that goes. And on Sunday, Reuben is having a barbecue. I’m anxious to see the duck insemination facility with my own eyes.
It’s totally autumn now. No mistaking those yellow leaves. In another week they’ll be red. Autumn is a beautiful season but I can’t enjoy, it means, Winter is coming… (With thanks to George R.R. Martin.)
Still, yesterday was a very bad day.
I keep thinking: This is my Scarlett O’Hara moment! Here I sprawl on the dark red earth of my own private Tara, radish aloft, declaring, As God is my witness, I’ll never be hungry again!
Except I am always hungry again. Plus the rent is due, the NYSEG is due, the phone is due, the fees on my worldly possessions, holed up in Monterey CA are due…
Scarlett O’Hara had backup at least. Mammy was a powerful ally.
I feel pretty desperate. So what else is new? What’s odd though is that apparently I’m not projecting desperate vibes. Strangers make a point of talking to me in bank lines, in grocery store lines. “There’s something really special about you, you know?” one of them said to me yesterday.
“Special? About me? Well, that’s kind of you but I suspect we’re all special,” I said.
She shook her head. “We’re not. I mean – we are. But you’re in a different class.”
That’s right, feed my delusions of grandeur, old hippie!
I have a date tonight with a rather eccentric architect with whom I share a passion for John Harrison’s invention of the marine chronometer. We’ll see how that goes. And on Sunday, Reuben is having a barbecue. I’m anxious to see the duck insemination facility with my own eyes.
It’s totally autumn now. No mistaking those yellow leaves. In another week they’ll be red. Autumn is a beautiful season but I can’t enjoy, it means, Winter is coming… (With thanks to George R.R. Martin.)
