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The ER Plus Golden Grove Unleaving
Aug. 21st, 2010 08:23 amJust got back from 12 hours in the emergency room.
They did every test known to modern man and still don’t know what’s wrong with me. But they cured the symptoms. I’d been vomiting for 24 hours straight with chills and sweating, no fever but the most horribly indescribable stomach cramps mixed in with nausea. It was a really awful feeling.
I mean, usually when you’re sick, you still have some control over the situation. But here I was totally without control – I mean, I don’t remember feeling that physically miserable since the last time I gave birth.
It’s always kind of an interesting moment when you turn your life over to a Higher Power – in this case the health care system. I figured I had food poisoning, it was self-limited – I’d be miserable for 36 hours or so, and then I’d snap out of it. And maybe that’s true.
But at the point at which I found myself crawling to the bathroom because I was in too much pain to stand, I thought, Nahhhhhh…
B took me. Being in so much pain, naturally I was in the Emotionally Needy Space. “Do you still love me?” I asked.
“Of course,” he said.
“Are you sad we divorced?”
“Sometimes. But it was obvious to me that we weren’t doing each any good.”
For the record Cayuga Medical Center is a great facility. They took one look at me – my face was the color of skim milk – and took me into a treatment room immediately. Cosseted me with warm blankets (blankies!), poured 2 liters of IV solutions into me, murmured, “There, there,” comfortingly as they pushed in the Zofran and morphine. I felt very safe. One of the worse things about being ill is how very vulnerable you feel, how at any moment vultures may materialize from the sky and peck your eyes out.
I came back to the cement bungalow this morning and felt like I’d just gotten home from a very long trip. Well – not home exactly…
On the drive back, I save a V of birds. “Migrating south,” said B.
And I noticed that though the trees were a long way still from changing color, there were yellow patches here and there. Winter, I thought and shuddered.
They did every test known to modern man and still don’t know what’s wrong with me. But they cured the symptoms. I’d been vomiting for 24 hours straight with chills and sweating, no fever but the most horribly indescribable stomach cramps mixed in with nausea. It was a really awful feeling.
I mean, usually when you’re sick, you still have some control over the situation. But here I was totally without control – I mean, I don’t remember feeling that physically miserable since the last time I gave birth.
It’s always kind of an interesting moment when you turn your life over to a Higher Power – in this case the health care system. I figured I had food poisoning, it was self-limited – I’d be miserable for 36 hours or so, and then I’d snap out of it. And maybe that’s true.
But at the point at which I found myself crawling to the bathroom because I was in too much pain to stand, I thought, Nahhhhhh…
B took me. Being in so much pain, naturally I was in the Emotionally Needy Space. “Do you still love me?” I asked.
“Of course,” he said.
“Are you sad we divorced?”
“Sometimes. But it was obvious to me that we weren’t doing each any good.”
For the record Cayuga Medical Center is a great facility. They took one look at me – my face was the color of skim milk – and took me into a treatment room immediately. Cosseted me with warm blankets (blankies!), poured 2 liters of IV solutions into me, murmured, “There, there,” comfortingly as they pushed in the Zofran and morphine. I felt very safe. One of the worse things about being ill is how very vulnerable you feel, how at any moment vultures may materialize from the sky and peck your eyes out.
I came back to the cement bungalow this morning and felt like I’d just gotten home from a very long trip. Well – not home exactly…
On the drive back, I save a V of birds. “Migrating south,” said B.
And I noticed that though the trees were a long way still from changing color, there were yellow patches here and there. Winter, I thought and shuddered.
