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Class Assignment
Dec. 6th, 2007 08:22 amThe estimable mcarp who blogs at 3:40 AM has given me an assignment:
So I've signed up for mcarp's number 1: HOW TO DISENGAGE YOURSELF FROM UNPRODUCTIVE BULLSHIT. I can't tell you how many times I've taken this class already. I always do really, really well in the class discussion but invariably flunk the final.
Other classes I'd like to take:
(2) HOW TO EXPLOIT YOUR THIRTEEN YEAR OLD FOR FUN & PROFIT: Yes, he used to be so cute. Remember that time when he was three years old, lisping, "Mommy, I wuv you. Will you be my girlfriend?" and you had to explain Mendelian genetics and incest taboos? What happened? Never mind, as Tim Gunn professional life coach advises, "Make it work" -- and make it give its paycheck to you! In this class we will explore all the remaining legal avenues for child labor including newspaper routes, lawn mowing, modeling, Hannah Montana drag shows and extradition to Thai sweatshops. Bring child's birth certificate and social security card to the first class.
(3) VAMPING AFTER FIFTY Find out how to make strangers be kind to you in an all day seminar with Blanche Dubois, Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright Tennessee Williams' drag introject. Topics explored will include: Seducing Safeway Bag Boys, Art or Science? How To Get To the Head of That Walmart Line Without Injuring Your Artificial Elbow; 101 Ways To Wear Leg Warmers; and Cost Benefit Analysis: Liposuction Vs Botox. Old bag lunch included.
(4) GOOGLING EX-BOYFRIENDS Why hire a private eye or pay big bucks to Intellius when you can get all that information proving definitively that breaking up with you was the worst decision they ever made for free?
Three is all I can think of, Mike!
I tag![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
cat_herder, bandicoot, hotelsamurai, hoyvenmayven and goudabonbon, although of course if memes are not your thing, feel free to ignore.
The rules are as follows: Devise a list of 5-10 courses you would take to improve your life. It's more fun to be in classes with friends, so include one class from the person who tagged you that you'd also like to take. Tag five other people.
So I've signed up for mcarp's number 1: HOW TO DISENGAGE YOURSELF FROM UNPRODUCTIVE BULLSHIT. I can't tell you how many times I've taken this class already. I always do really, really well in the class discussion but invariably flunk the final.
Other classes I'd like to take:
(2) HOW TO EXPLOIT YOUR THIRTEEN YEAR OLD FOR FUN & PROFIT: Yes, he used to be so cute. Remember that time when he was three years old, lisping, "Mommy, I wuv you. Will you be my girlfriend?" and you had to explain Mendelian genetics and incest taboos? What happened? Never mind, as Tim Gunn professional life coach advises, "Make it work" -- and make it give its paycheck to you! In this class we will explore all the remaining legal avenues for child labor including newspaper routes, lawn mowing, modeling, Hannah Montana drag shows and extradition to Thai sweatshops. Bring child's birth certificate and social security card to the first class.
(3) VAMPING AFTER FIFTY Find out how to make strangers be kind to you in an all day seminar with Blanche Dubois, Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright Tennessee Williams' drag introject. Topics explored will include: Seducing Safeway Bag Boys, Art or Science? How To Get To the Head of That Walmart Line Without Injuring Your Artificial Elbow; 101 Ways To Wear Leg Warmers; and Cost Benefit Analysis: Liposuction Vs Botox. Old bag lunch included.
(4) GOOGLING EX-BOYFRIENDS Why hire a private eye or pay big bucks to Intellius when you can get all that information proving definitively that breaking up with you was the worst decision they ever made for free?
Three is all I can think of, Mike!
I tag
cat_herder, bandicoot, hotelsamurai, hoyvenmayven and goudabonbon, although of course if memes are not your thing, feel free to ignore.
