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Project Runway - Episode 1
Nov. 15th, 2007 09:03 amLike everybody else in Couch Potato-land, I'd been counting down the hours till the new season of Project Runway began.
But I was disappointed with the first episode.
Maybe it was the "He's no Mick Jagger" phenomenon.
(So-called after the famous groupie who fucked and fellated her way through passels of seventies rock stars always with her eye on the Rolling Stones.
"So how was Eric Clapton?" her friends would ask her.
"He was great!" she'd say. "But he was no Mick Jagger."
So finally she makes it into the Stones' dressing room and does Mick.
"How was?" ask her friends.
"He was great!" says the groupie. "But he was no Mick Jagger.")
Tim Gunn no longer inspires me now that he's gone over to the dark side, Liz Claiborne's, where he cavorts through cutesy Macy's commercial spots with other hideous brand names like Puffy Combs and Jessica Simpson. And damn, girlfriend! Was that a spray-tan I saw when you stepped out of your limousine? Plus "Make it work," was endearing as the come-to-Jesus of an avuncular pep talk, but it's really fucking grating as a Bravo TV slogan.
Some things don't change, thank God. Heidi Klum remains as robotic as ever – that's a comfort – though she appears to have had her nose redone. And Michael Kors still looks like Nancy Reagan's favorite pallbearer.
So! On to the designers.
First of all, there are too many of them, many of them gay guys named "Chris" (or variants thereof.) I think there was one straight guy – he may have been named "Chris" too.
This season's Crazy Woman – Elisa? – actually designed the dress I liked the best. Bee-you-ti-ful color and damn! I liked those sleeves. And actually I knew exactly where she was going with that train. But see, the problems are that (1) there is no way you could ever put a needle to that concept; in practical terms, it was undoable and (2) clothes should not be performance art, the person wearing the clothes should be performance art.
Liked the orange ballerina dress (Jillian.) Liked the very short black dress with the shimmery silver bodice and the red petticoating (Kevin.) Did not like the winning dress at all.
Hated the little queen with the rabid weasel haircut – hel-lo! can we have character development here? can you take a few episodes to turn into a beyatch? This is not America's Next Top Model, you know!
Was left with a profound sense of "eh" as I switched the TV off.
But I was disappointed with the first episode.
Maybe it was the "He's no Mick Jagger" phenomenon.
(So-called after the famous groupie who fucked and fellated her way through passels of seventies rock stars always with her eye on the Rolling Stones.
"So how was Eric Clapton?" her friends would ask her.
"He was great!" she'd say. "But he was no Mick Jagger."
So finally she makes it into the Stones' dressing room and does Mick.
"How was?" ask her friends.
"He was great!" says the groupie. "But he was no Mick Jagger.")
Tim Gunn no longer inspires me now that he's gone over to the dark side, Liz Claiborne's, where he cavorts through cutesy Macy's commercial spots with other hideous brand names like Puffy Combs and Jessica Simpson. And damn, girlfriend! Was that a spray-tan I saw when you stepped out of your limousine? Plus "Make it work," was endearing as the come-to-Jesus of an avuncular pep talk, but it's really fucking grating as a Bravo TV slogan.
Some things don't change, thank God. Heidi Klum remains as robotic as ever – that's a comfort – though she appears to have had her nose redone. And Michael Kors still looks like Nancy Reagan's favorite pallbearer.
So! On to the designers.
First of all, there are too many of them, many of them gay guys named "Chris" (or variants thereof.) I think there was one straight guy – he may have been named "Chris" too.
This season's Crazy Woman – Elisa? – actually designed the dress I liked the best. Bee-you-ti-ful color and damn! I liked those sleeves. And actually I knew exactly where she was going with that train. But see, the problems are that (1) there is no way you could ever put a needle to that concept; in practical terms, it was undoable and (2) clothes should not be performance art, the person wearing the clothes should be performance art.
Liked the orange ballerina dress (Jillian.) Liked the very short black dress with the shimmery silver bodice and the red petticoating (Kevin.) Did not like the winning dress at all.
Hated the little queen with the rabid weasel haircut – hel-lo! can we have character development here? can you take a few episodes to turn into a beyatch? This is not America's Next Top Model, you know!
Was left with a profound sense of "eh" as I switched the TV off.
