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Tiki Bars & Jonathan Kellerman
Mar. 31st, 2007 10:44 amI had to be physically restrained from going into the Little Store these past two days.
Oddly enough, I don't think of myself as a workaholic. Quite the opposite, in fact: I'm congenitally lazy, could spend days playing Rear Window & spying into neighbors' lives, going for long bike rides, obsessing about nail polish colors.
As soon as I I win my MacArthur Genius Grant, I intend to retire to Belize and set up a sonar death ray that will kill all mosquitoes and other flying disease vectors within a thirty foot radius of my modest mansion. Then I'll hire some thugs to kidnap Jonathan Kellerman, feed him Adderall at gunpoint and get him to write thirty or forty more Alex Delaware novels. (God knows there'd be no diminution in quality – they're pretty awful but there's something about them I like. Candy for the mind.) I will live out my days tranquilly – snorkeling, reading pulp fiction, eating cheese nachos liberally dosed with Marie Sharp's, the world's greatest hot sauce. Occasionally one of my children will drop me an email – Dear Mom, Last night I won Oscars for Best Actor, Best Director and Best Original Screenplay. Of course my acceptance speeches were all about YOU. Brett Ratner was in tears.
Maybe I'll answer them. Maybe I won't.
Thing is I actually like working when it involves the Little Store. It's fun. I only wish I'd been introduced to the pleasures of entrepreneurial capitalism earlier in life when I'd have had more of a shot at making a success out of it.
Anyway, during my two days off:
Went for several exceedingly long bike rides – down to Asilomar Beach where I hadn't been in quite some time. The ocean is still blue; the lighthouse still stands.
Installed a tiki bar in the Little Store – so cool! And see, we have tiki bar salt and peppers too. If only the tiki bar salt and peppers had little tiny tiki bar salt and peppers, we'd be looking at an exercise in recursive infinity that seasons your food while it feeds your head.
Took Robin shopping. This was a huge ordeal, and we had several screaming matches. We went to a hideous store called Hot Topic staffed by vampires and demons for those all important Message Teeshirts; the more utilitarian jeans, hoodies and underwear were all purchased at Mervyns.
Took Robin to see Blades of Glory. What can I say? I love Will Farrell.
Read the first 150 pages of Jonathan Kellerman's latest, Obsession. Might be a useful exercise some time to analyze why Jonathan Kellerman is so compulsively readable.
Oddly enough, I don't think of myself as a workaholic. Quite the opposite, in fact: I'm congenitally lazy, could spend days playing Rear Window & spying into neighbors' lives, going for long bike rides, obsessing about nail polish colors.
As soon as I I win my MacArthur Genius Grant, I intend to retire to Belize and set up a sonar death ray that will kill all mosquitoes and other flying disease vectors within a thirty foot radius of my modest mansion. Then I'll hire some thugs to kidnap Jonathan Kellerman, feed him Adderall at gunpoint and get him to write thirty or forty more Alex Delaware novels. (God knows there'd be no diminution in quality – they're pretty awful but there's something about them I like. Candy for the mind.) I will live out my days tranquilly – snorkeling, reading pulp fiction, eating cheese nachos liberally dosed with Marie Sharp's, the world's greatest hot sauce. Occasionally one of my children will drop me an email – Dear Mom, Last night I won Oscars for Best Actor, Best Director and Best Original Screenplay. Of course my acceptance speeches were all about YOU. Brett Ratner was in tears.
Maybe I'll answer them. Maybe I won't.
Thing is I actually like working when it involves the Little Store. It's fun. I only wish I'd been introduced to the pleasures of entrepreneurial capitalism earlier in life when I'd have had more of a shot at making a success out of it.
Anyway, during my two days off:
Went for several exceedingly long bike rides – down to Asilomar Beach where I hadn't been in quite some time. The ocean is still blue; the lighthouse still stands.
Installed a tiki bar in the Little Store – so cool! And see, we have tiki bar salt and peppers too. If only the tiki bar salt and peppers had little tiny tiki bar salt and peppers, we'd be looking at an exercise in recursive infinity that seasons your food while it feeds your head.
Took Robin shopping. This was a huge ordeal, and we had several screaming matches. We went to a hideous store called Hot Topic staffed by vampires and demons for those all important Message Teeshirts; the more utilitarian jeans, hoodies and underwear were all purchased at Mervyns.
Took Robin to see Blades of Glory. What can I say? I love Will Farrell.
Read the first 150 pages of Jonathan Kellerman's latest, Obsession. Might be a useful exercise some time to analyze why Jonathan Kellerman is so compulsively readable.
