Animals in Clothes

Here's a picture of Max attempting to force a 350 lb calf into a pair of Victoria's Secret panties (plus size.)

This event called Calf Dressing is the highlight of the Dyer, Nevada Independence Day celebration. Dyer, Nevada – the closest "town" to Deep Springs – is so small, the various community data collators (city-data.com, Epodunk and the like) don't even bother listing population statistics. Max wasn't any more successful fitting the calf into lingerie than the aspiring designers on Project Runway were in outfitting their leeetle doggies on Episode 3. And that may be my lamest segue ever.

Not as lame as this episode of Project Runway though.

The problem wasn't dog-as-fashion-accessory necessarily so much as dog-as-celebrity-judge. Because minus the iconic hairpiece, Ivanka Trump is an exact clone of her old man, the Donald, which basically means babies howl when they see her coming down the runway because the Donald with those beady little predatory eyes and that neo-Hapsburg chin is one ugly American.

This makes then two Trump-dominated challenges in a row – Trump also owns the Miss Universe Pageant and last week's guess celebrity judge was a Miss Universe contestant.

Way too much Donald Trump for my taste.

In the first couple of seasons, the whoring – whoops, I mean product placement – was fun in a PeeWee's Playhouse sort of way, blatant cheddar cheese – the Tresemmé Hall of Eternal Beauty, the Bahnahnah Republic mentorship. This season they're pimping human brands and it's getting on my nerves.

Was so unnerved by Ivanka that I didn't pay much attention to the clothes. Uli's outfit deserved to win, Katherine's deserved to lose. If I have to see one more "hoodie" in my life, I'll scream. Ditto for fur-fringed collars though we know Mrs. Architect survives to torture us with more coats since next week is the much-vaunted Project Runway expulsion episode and I can't see her using teeth during Michael Kors' blowjob.