Beware of Charlie LeDuffs Bearing Gifts

So the Discovery Channel documentary was a complete bust. JDK really should have squeezed out the extra pennies to fly me up there. The film crew showed up on the one week where every conceivable thing that could go wrong did go wrong. Guennadi had one of his panic attacks and ended up in the cardiac care unit of the local hospital. Agostino plunged forty feet off the Wheel of Destiny and broke his spine. I mean, there was nothing I could have done as a publicist that would have changed any of those things. But at least I could have spun off into a rampage, pitched a screaming fit, destroyed all of Charlie LeDuff's film crew's cameras.

As it was, the cameras kept right on rolling. Capturing every little sad sack moment of a Week in the Life of Cirque de Méprise in excruciating, angst-ridden detail.

And it simply is not true that all publicity is good publicity. I mean, do you want to see Ken Lay on Dancing With the Stars? I know I don't.