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2006 Fancy Foods Show
Jan. 24th, 2006 08:29 amFor the first hour and a half, the Fancy Foods Show is kind of like the world's biggest cocktail party – chattering people, acres of hors d'oeuvres.
After your third helping of smoked salmon on an exciting new brand of Swedish flatbread, you begin to realize the conversations all go something like this:
Bald White Guy With Paunch: It's amazing how this thing has taken off! I mean those of us with the vision to jump on the salt bandwagon! We're doing really well.
Strangely Dressed Woman (Wearing Button: Ask Me About Jurassic Salt), Shaking Head Sadly: There's nothing like jumping on the salt bandwagon too late.
Gourmet foods are primarily about status and only secondarily about flavor or nutrition. Thus there are trends, since marketing science can only be practiced on cyclical demand. This year's buzz word was "artisan." It used to refer to small producers who sold their wares at farmers markets; it now refers to a style of packaging – jam jars with slightly beveled edges, the ubiquitous flask – that is slightly more expensive to produce and thus gives the consumer the illusion that the products they are buying are made with more care than the equivalent product in a cylindrical jar which would cost them 50% less.
Presentation is everything.
I have no idea how booth space is assigned but I'll tell you – whatever the strategy, it's bad for digestion. The lime wasabi mustard booth next to the Belgian chocolate booth next to the imported Italian Torta Mascarpone booth? Where's the Alka Seltzer booth?
Caffeine was the next big thing. A hyper-caffeinated coffee beverage called Shock. (Manufacturers claim it's all natural – they feed the nascent coffee vines steroids or something.) Caffeinated water. Caffeinated peppermints. Caffeinated potato chips. And my own particular favorite – caffeinated chocolate chip cookies. I'm a little puzzled why they haven't figured out a way to add caffeine to imported olives or free range beef, but I'm sure they will by next year.
My own two picks for Best In Show: an absolutely amazing sorbet flavored with lemon grass and coconut milk, and a yummy lavender chocolate.
The chili product lines were sub-par even though they did a special chili tasting.
In other news, my mother would have been 72 years old today had she not died five years ago, and I woke up feeling very sad for her. It's odd – I didn't much like my mother while she was alive, though of course I loved her – I mean, come on: what choice did I have? When she was alive, I hardly ever thought about her. But I think about her a lot now that she's dead. I brood on the decisions she made those last few crazy years. If we'd been closer, if I had allowed myself to like her, could I have done something about that crazy, self-destructive course she was on? There are moments now when her craziness floats in front of me like a mask and I feel myself channeling her. Not pleasant. Not pleasant at all.
Is that the way it always is between offspring and their dead parents?
I'll go to the Mission today and light a candle. In whatever Bardo she's trapped in, I'm sure she's still a good Jewish girl with a strong sense of irony and, moreover, a big fan of Brideshead Revisited. She'll get the joke.
After your third helping of smoked salmon on an exciting new brand of Swedish flatbread, you begin to realize the conversations all go something like this:
Bald White Guy With Paunch: It's amazing how this thing has taken off! I mean those of us with the vision to jump on the salt bandwagon! We're doing really well.
Strangely Dressed Woman (Wearing Button: Ask Me About Jurassic Salt), Shaking Head Sadly: There's nothing like jumping on the salt bandwagon too late.
Gourmet foods are primarily about status and only secondarily about flavor or nutrition. Thus there are trends, since marketing science can only be practiced on cyclical demand. This year's buzz word was "artisan." It used to refer to small producers who sold their wares at farmers markets; it now refers to a style of packaging – jam jars with slightly beveled edges, the ubiquitous flask – that is slightly more expensive to produce and thus gives the consumer the illusion that the products they are buying are made with more care than the equivalent product in a cylindrical jar which would cost them 50% less.
Presentation is everything.
I have no idea how booth space is assigned but I'll tell you – whatever the strategy, it's bad for digestion. The lime wasabi mustard booth next to the Belgian chocolate booth next to the imported Italian Torta Mascarpone booth? Where's the Alka Seltzer booth?
Caffeine was the next big thing. A hyper-caffeinated coffee beverage called Shock. (Manufacturers claim it's all natural – they feed the nascent coffee vines steroids or something.) Caffeinated water. Caffeinated peppermints. Caffeinated potato chips. And my own particular favorite – caffeinated chocolate chip cookies. I'm a little puzzled why they haven't figured out a way to add caffeine to imported olives or free range beef, but I'm sure they will by next year.
My own two picks for Best In Show: an absolutely amazing sorbet flavored with lemon grass and coconut milk, and a yummy lavender chocolate.
The chili product lines were sub-par even though they did a special chili tasting.
In other news, my mother would have been 72 years old today had she not died five years ago, and I woke up feeling very sad for her. It's odd – I didn't much like my mother while she was alive, though of course I loved her – I mean, come on: what choice did I have? When she was alive, I hardly ever thought about her. But I think about her a lot now that she's dead. I brood on the decisions she made those last few crazy years. If we'd been closer, if I had allowed myself to like her, could I have done something about that crazy, self-destructive course she was on? There are moments now when her craziness floats in front of me like a mask and I feel myself channeling her. Not pleasant. Not pleasant at all.
Is that the way it always is between offspring and their dead parents?
I'll go to the Mission today and light a candle. In whatever Bardo she's trapped in, I'm sure she's still a good Jewish girl with a strong sense of irony and, moreover, a big fan of Brideshead Revisited. She'll get the joke.
