Jan. 22nd, 2006

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Weazel Sofabed ran an amusing circus scam several seasons ago. (As if the name "Weazel Sofabed" wasn't amusing enough!)

He put together a show called the Great Circus of China. But he had problems getting visas for the actual Chinese acrobats, this being – I dimly recall – coincident with some George Dubya Bush episode of King Kong chest-beating over human rights violations.

So he hired a bunch of Mexicans, dressed them up in pigtail wigs, and billed them as the Chinese Imperial Acrobats!

No! I am not making this up!

The goofy memory arises because it looks like Weazel's current circus – Starr Brothers? Bailey Brothers? – is opening in McAllen a week before Cirque de Méprise.

JDK is in a dither, burning up the midnight lines. "What am I going to do?" he screams. "This guy leaves a bundle of bad debts and dissatisfied customers wherever he goes! He gives every circus a bad name! And I'm following him through the Rio Grande Valley, one week behind!"

In phone space, no one can see you shrug. "Open some place else besides the Rio Grande Valley? I don't know."

Not so amusing: Weazel has a warrant out in New Mexico. Several years ago he bought a Mama African elephant and her two babies. One of the babies was discovered dead in the truck when animal inspectors did a routine check in Albuquerque. The inspectors confiscated the other two elephants and they're now in a city zoo. It's a mystery how Gopher stays in business year after year. Though by all reports, he's a very nice, personable guy one on one.

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