Arise! Arise! Millions with but one heart...

So my name was acquired by some Hong Kong business development consortium and now I am besieged on a daily basis by requests from Chinese agriculturalists desperately trying to interest me in container loads of Yunan chilis (with and without stems), crushed hibiscus flowers and blanched peanuts plus I got invited to the MEGA-BIG Hong Kong gift show. If I had five thousand bucks lying around, I would be so there!!! Talk about your kitsch heaven.

What I'd really like to own is a store that sells nothing but these nifty lighters that play The Sky Is Red every time you flick them open….

And I do love how when you click on to the Hotel Accommodation link on the main Gift Show page, you get the following rather ominous message: "Information will be revealed in due course."