Yesterday

Transit of Venus today, a rare astronomical event with astrological portent: wishes made in the shadow of the transit are likely to come true although do be aware of the Monkey’s Paw corollary that attends all magic.

People born in the first two weeks of June are particularly lucky today.

"Go out and buy a Lotto ticket," I told Ben. "In fact, buy two."

"I remember why Ronald Reagan was so despicable even if you don’t," Ben said. He doesn’t believe in astrology. He held up his hand and began counting off fingers. "Contra wars in Central America. The Iran Contra cover-up. Stuffing the Supreme Court. Dissolving the air traffic controllers union which began the castration of labor unions that continues unabated to this day. Plus he made his own son give up ballet for the more manly pursuit of announcing dog shows on the Discovery Channel. I’d like to go down to Simi Valley to spit at his casket –"

"Stop it!" I said. "You’re wasting your wish."

Just then the phone rang. Jeanna in Vegas.

"So you got my package!" I said. "That was quick –"

"What package?" she asked.

A moment of sisterly synchronicity – I was thinking of her, she was thinking of me.

"So I talked to Dad for an hour on the phone yesterday," she told me. "He passed out waiting in line at the Bakersfield DMV to renew his license. They had to cart him off to the hospital."

"Vasovagal syncope episode!" I said.

"How did you know?" she asked.

"I used to be a nurse, remember?"

"Well, anyway, he doesn’t think he’s gonna make it to November. ‘I’m dying,’ he said. ‘You better bring your sister soon.’ "

"What did you say?" I asked.

"‘You should only be so lucky. Dying would be too easy. The universe is gonna make you sit it out for a while longer so you can meditate on what a miserable father and husband you were.’ But you know, he’s convinced. He talks about you so much I’m almost jealous. You are the apple of his eye, you know."

"That’s because we have the same birthday," I said. "He sees it as some kind of mystical connection."

"Well, it is," said Jeanna.

Drive-in opened two weeks ago. Drive-in this year has metamorphosed into a bit of a scene with people driving fifty, eighty, a hundred miles – from Santa Fe and Albuquerque – to get to it. The double whammy – Jeanna has been minting money but also working like a dog which is something she doesn’t like to do. It turns out that SBP (Serious Bitch Potential) runs on both sides of the family. Jeanna described her inner dialogue at the concession stand – "Come on, lard-ass! You know you’re gonna buy the pizza and the hot dogs so why don't you just open the fucking wallet, flip me the cash and stop dicking me around."

"Wait!" I say shocked. "You actually allow yourself to think things like that?"

"Of course," says Jeanna. "Don’t you?"

"Well, no. I mean – what if the customers catch what’s in your head?"

"That’s bullshit," said Jeanna. "They don’t know what you’re thinking."