Arcane Zoning Laws

[mallorys_camera]

I'm bored with grieving.

Brian would have thoroughly sympathized.

Brian was one of the least sentimental humans I've ever met.

###

Daria & I are sentimental enough to want to do a memorial. Flavia is not interested at all in doing a memorial, says Brian wouldn't have cared one way or another, which may or may not be true, but anyway, even if it is true, is entirely irrelevant: Memorials are for the survivors.

Flavia's reluctance does raise some issues, though. Like is she reluctant because she is too prostrate with grief to participate in anything? As the kinda/sorta Official Grieving Widow, will she resent it—consciously or unconsciously—if two survivors lower down on the Grief Ladder seize the initiative here?

No real plans have been made other than a vague commitment to the third or fourth week in September, a date far enough ahead in an indeterminate future to seem doable.

But if we really want to do it, we're gonna have to begin to make some concrete plans sooner rather than later. Pin down an actual date; pin down a venue. New Paltz is the obvious venue, but I've also been wondering about Norma's, BB's & my favorite cafe in Wappingers Falls, or Tranquili-Tea, that adorable little rabbit hole in (of all bizarre places) Middletown that we stumbled across that day:



I had a busy weekend: Democratic Committee meeting, D&D with the Boneyard BoyZ, & a tea party that doubled as a Democratic fundraiser. Also I baked a sour cherry pie:



The aesthetics are off. As I say, I am just terrible with crusts! But the pie tastes great.

I hadn't exercised in 10 days, but yesterday I trotted off to the gym and today I plan to tromp before it gets too hot.

###

I've been trying to think of a plot to graft on to the Neversink backstory.

Of course, it should focus on the animosity between the folks who've been farming in these parts for three or four generations and the recent emigrants from the Big City, 'cause that's a very real dynamic in these parts plus the whole water theft—They drowned our homes so their city could have water!—demands it.

Possibly a young, idealistic Brooklyn immigrant runs for the village planning board? Maybe there's still some arcane zoning law that she opposes that allows stores to be built in the middle of the reservoir? (But why would she oppose it? There are tons of arcane laws dating back centuries in every town in these parts! People just ignore them.) And, of course, on the actual night of the election, the reservoir recedes so you can see the chimneys & spires & mercantile towers of the drowned town.

Writing style I'm aiming for is Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell. Susanna Clark does a most excellent job of integrating fantasma into everyday.

I will mull it over some more.

But not too much. Some things just naturally work themselves out while you're writing.

Comments

[bleodswean]

Love love love that photo of him. I would hold the event there and make that photo the everything photo. I'm with you, memorials are for the survivors and those gone really deserve to have a part of a single day completely dedicated to remembering them. I'm highly suspicious of those who oppose these very human experiences. Because graveside services have become a thing of the past, we must work harder to memorialize these souls who affected our souls. Of course, these things feel cold or distant UNTIL people begin remembering and recalling and sharing stories - then the person becomes ALIVE again in those moments.

[mallorys_camera]

Of course, these things feel cold or distant

That's kind of why I thought renting the tea house for an afternoon & evening would be a better venue than renting some sort of hall. It's a very cozy, warm, uniquely decorated little tea house, and Brian really liked it.

Although I do want to see if we can get a piano in it that day. Brian was a pianist, and there are a couple of friends I'd like to ask to play.

[fuzzilla]

I kept trying to help Charles write a eulogy for his parents. He was too emotional and did a "pass the mic and share your memories" thing instead, which worked well and everyone appreciated.

[mallorys_camera]

Eulogies are hard.

[fuzzilla]

I also had some leftover feelings that - hey, my dad died and I'm a writer. I tried to write a eulogy, but since I'm the youngest by a long shot there was a lot of life I wasn't there for and asked my siblings for material. When I did, they kinda scoffed at my efforts, and then I felt bad and stopped.

So, part of me wanted to be like, "I can write a eulogy, dammit!" But of course, that's my bullshit, so I backed off.

[halfmoon_mollie1]

see above ^^^^^^^

[fuzzilla]

I'm so sentimental, I didn't even know Brian, yet we were watching this movie where someone was blowing bubbles and I was like, "Oh! That's right, she said he loved bubbles and made sure to bring some when she cleared out his house..."

I tend to be pretty avoidant when I have intense emotions, so I can understand Flavia's p.o.v. Of course, I would be like, "this isn't all about me, though - I need to get it together." I'm sure you all will put together a lovely service.

I've never tried a pie crust before, just always went with store bought and made the filling/topping myself.

[mallorys_camera]

I have a heavy hand when it comes to pie crust. It would be better if I used a food processor, I suppose.

[suzannareads]

I gather that Brian may not have had family? If so, I think a gathering of chosen friends in a chosen space is perfect.

[mallorys_camera]

Brian has a brother, but that brother has dementia. Flavia was Brian's significant other, and has handled all the practical stuff (death certificate, deposition of the body). I haven't spoken to her about a memorial, but Daria has—and says Flavia doesn't want to have to plan one.

[asakiyume]

I'm contemplating the grief ladder. I'm remembering these two guys who ran the middle school band, a heavyset youngish (but not that young, probs 40s) guy and a skinny somewhat older guy. They were devoted to the students, the band, and each other (but not romantically I don't think? I feel like one had a partner? But maybe not: maybe they WERE romantically devoted to each other). Anyway, the younger one died at work of a sudden heart attack--was found by the students. It was devastating for so many people. But the older guy, he couldn't participate in the memorial at all. A case of the first of your two options.

I think you should go ahead and do it. (Like my opinion matters! But opine I will!) Like you say, it's for the survivors. And you can keep reaching out to her and saying you'd love to have her and she doesn't need to do anything (no speaking, etc.--my dad couldn't speak at my mom's memorial service).

Totally agree on Susanna Clarke.

The Quabbin also flooded towns, and its water also is solely for the people in Boston. An inconvenient detail of its creation, which is probably true of the reservoir you're thinking of, is that they took down all the houses etc. before they flooded the valley. There are photos in our post office of the process. It's a detail you can totally ignore, though, for the sake of the story! In alternate-world Hudson Valley, you don't need to take down houses and churches to make a reservoir.

[mallorys_camera]

Flavia is very cool, so I doubt the "grief ladder" would be any kind of issue.

But it would be for some people. There is "ownership" of deaths.

They razed the buildings when they created the Catskill reservoirs, too, but that doesn't fit at all with my story, so I'm just gonna ignore the fact! 😀

[smokingboot]

I read your later post before this one, and am pleased to hear that Flavia's approved the memorial to Brian. The Tea House in Middletown looks perfect, as does that photo!

And yes, some stories just come into being as one writes them. Whenever I have plotted a story, it fades at the storyboard stage, like somehow it's now told so why tell it? Major flaw in my approach is what that is!

[mallorys_camera]

I go back & forth on storyboarding. I think you do need to know the general outlines of what's gonna happen—though, of course, one must be open to the changes that occur when characters feel their own agency. The Neversink story isn't character-driven, though, so— :::SHRUG:::