Happy Bday RTT

[mallorys_camera]

RTT turns 30 today.

Here is the schedule he devised for b-day activities:

Stage 1 [8:15 am] breakfast at Drippanys (INVITE ONLY)
⁃ Everyone dress fancy and we get breakfast at the Ithaca Deli then eat it in Dewitt Park or at my house if weathers bad.

Stage 2 [10 AM] The InterRobinental Title Match (SELECTED ENTRANTS)
⁃ Entrants compete in a battle royale (WWE2K24, PS5, may need to borrow controllers I’ve got 3) for the InterRobinental Title. Sponsored and DJ’d by DJ Jonah

Stage 3 [12 PM] The Trumansburg Bar Crawl (VIP WRISTBAND)
⁃ We go to Trumansburg for the day and hit up all the bars there, so atlas then Garrett’s then the ice cream bar if it’s open then little Venice. We act super into it like it’s a big deal to make it to every bar in Trumansburg

Stage 4 [3:30 PM] The Boringon Trail (VIP WRISTBAND)
- siesta everyone rest up and find ur way back to Ithaca while bumping exclusively Lofi Kanye remixes

Stage 5 [4:30 PM] Lalala Music (Early Bird Access)
- the 89ers at deep dive, optional siesta for people not interested

Stage 6 [6:30 PM] Robin’s Personally The Best (General Admission)
- personal best eat food and drink it’s a big place

Stage 7 [9 PM] (VIP WRISTBAND) happy bday to me
- everyone watch me play 2K

I worry about RTT incessantly because he seems to have inherited his parents’ grasshopper genes. But he seems happy, his life seems to suit—it’s big on music festivals, mad midnight excursions with pals, sports. If there’s very little in the way of contingency planning—disaster preparedness, as one might say—perhaps that’s a reflection of a generational attitude. There are just so many disasters, and increasingly, they erupt out of nowhere: How can you possibly plan for them? Better to party and be fatalistic.


I am going up there tomorrow for a couple of days.

###

It’s impossible to think of RTT’s birth and not think of Ben.

I will say this for Ben: He was extraordinarily supportive of me while I was giving birth.

With Ichabod, I’d had an epidural, and the labor turned into something long and grueling. When it finally came time to push, I couldn’t—because the epidural made it impossible. They had to use vacuum aspiration to get the baby out and that gave him a large hematoma that I imagine was pretty painful: For the first two weeks of his life, Ichabod cried a lot.

I did not want a repeat of that. Whatever happened to me, I wanted a smoother entry for my new little guy. So I decided to do natural childbirth with RTT. (Ironically, RTT turned out to have a more serious medical issue than a hematoma: He was a meconium aspiration baby and ended up spending his first week in a NICU.)

Natural childbirth hurt.

Natural childbirth hurt a lot.

I didn’t feel human.

I was a she-wolf alone on the dark side of a bloodred moon, and I was howling.

And whenever I howled, Ben howled with me. He stared into my eyes, and he howled.

I couldn’t tell you why that helped except that it did help, there was someone else on that moon with me, and that was enormous.

And the labor went really quick. It was over and done in five hours, and once it was done, it was done, I felt fine.

In the unlikely event that I ever become pregnant again—some Midwitch Cuckoo scenario, maybe, or Yahweh feeling playful—I would definitely opt for natural childbirth.

###

I suppose the deal with Ben was that he was seeing me ugly—and make no mistake, childbirth is an ugly process, all blood and shit and glistening membranes and tearing tissues: It may be a miracle, but it’s an ugly miracle—but he was right there willing & able to get ugly with me.

He cared for me when I was at my ugliest.

I think that’s what real love is.

Ben was such a jerk in so many ways.

But he did give me that gift.

Comments

[smokingboot]

That is an incredible gift; to have a wolf like you on the dark side of the moon when you need it.

RTT looks so like you!

[mallorys_camera]

We do look alike.

Ben once looked at a photo of me aged 14 or so and then at our 14-year-old son, & remarked, "The two of you could have been fraternal twins."

[smokingboot]

I came back to this post today and looked at the lovely photo again. Easy to see what Ben means.