mallorys_camera | The Sims Do Citizen Kane (Reply)

Oh, glorious!

I indulged myself in two days of sloth!

Fifty varieties of doing absolutely nothing!

I read Tudor porn (Alison Weir’s The Last White Rose.) I watched The Garden of the Fitzi-Continis and Bande à part for the millionth time. (Predictably, the Criterion streaming channel is doing a Godard retrospective.) I tromped. I visited the garden so I could despair over it.

Mostly, though, I played the Sims.

I’ve downloaded every mod known to man, including a bunch of explicitly pornographic ones; a Sim religion; a mod that introduces random shootings, suicides, and poisonings; and Sim marital dissolution fixes that allow Sims to get into custody and child support battles. I’m on my fourth generation of a Sim family: An ugly divorce (because the husband was a sex addict with an uncontrollable temper) after which the wife has been forced to support her children as a prostitute because her X is a deadbeat. I think she’s going to shoot him—although there isn’t any Sim criminal justice mod or prison system, so the crime will go unpunished.

Such fun!

What I’d really like to do is make a Sim version of some popular movie—kinda like the live-action stop film Todd Haynes did with Barbie dolls about the life and death of Karen Carpenter. That was a brilliant high concept.

Watch on YouTube

(Personally, I think Karen Carpenter was one of the best pop female singers of all time. Right up there with Whitney Houston and Dusty Springfield.)

So what movie would work if you did it with Sims? Citizen Kane? The Godfather? Bande à part?

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Sadly, I can’t indulge myself in a third day of sloth.

I mean, I can.

But I mustn’t.

There are simply too many things on the To Do list.