Catch Me Any Thursday Night Here at the Starlite Lounge

[mallorys_camera]

It’s very cold. My life is very boring.

I mean—my life isn’t boring to me because my life is filled with fascinating choices like Should I eat this entire pint of coffee pistachio ice cream now, or sould I save some for tomorrow? and Should I watch “Project Runway” or “The Real Housewives of Miami?”

But I’m sure these fascinating choices would seem very boring to other people.

Fortunately, there aren’t very many of those around.

What little life I have these days is being conducted by remote control.

###

Had a tough time writing yesterday but managed to crank out 500 words anyway.

Problem with the Work in Progress is that while June had a ridiculously well documented life up through her late 20s, after that, she slides off the edge of the world, or at least, beyond the reach of historical documentation.

That’s the part of her life that interests me as a novelist.

But to get to that part, one must deal with the parts that are documented through Henry Miller’s voluminous and obsessive writings.

Those fall into three baskets:

• Initial Meeting With Henry Miller
• Infatuation With Jean Kronski
• Threeway with Henry Miller and Anaïs Nin.

I’d dealt with the first and the third, but now I see I’m gonna have to deal with the second, which I hadn't done because June’s infatuation with Jean Kronski didn’t— and doesn’t—make a whole lot of sense to me in the context of June’s character as I’ve been inventing it.

This entails a massive rewrite of Chapter 6.

###

Then there’s the whole deal with dialogue.

Dialogue is extremely hard to invent.

The best way to get dialogue is to harvest it—either by having witty conversations with fascinating people (during which you excuse yourself every 15 minutes or so to run off to a bathroom so you can scribble down everything that was just said) or by planting yourself in a café where you can eavesdrop on the witty conversations fascinating people are having at adjoining tables.

I am not having any conversations with witty people in what's commonly known as—ha, ha, ha—real life just at present.

In fact, I’m fairly sure there’s only one witty person living in all of Dutchess County, and that person is Neighbor Ed.

And while Neighbor Ed and I communicate regularly, these are not the kind of communications that are easily subverted to a (hopefully) entertaining fiction that takes place in the 1920s, being mostly contemporaneous and political in nature.

At times like this that I find myself—well. Not missing exactly. But actively lamenting the absence of the Feckless X. Say what you will about Ben—and I do!—he was a brilliant conversationalist.

Anyway, my ability to write evocative dialogue suffers in isolation.

“What are you making?” I called across the din.
“A monster,” she said. She had a very high-pitched voice. The girliest of girly-girl voices. “I’m an expert on monsters. You look like you’re an expert, too.”

Ugh!

But this dialogue snippet meets the two general criteria of:

(a) Useful information dump. Sociopaths are always fascinated by people who can explain their behavior to them because the behavior of sociopaths is as mystifying to those sociopaths themselves as it is to other people.

(b) Rhythm. Bump, bump, bump. Bump bump bump bump. Catch me any Thursday night here in the Starlite Lounge at Grossingers!

This snippet makes me shudder.

But having written it, I keep on writing.

‘Cause if you don't keep on writing, then—you're not a writer!

###

Also, I did Marissa’s taxes.

Honestly? I don't see how Marissa has managed to survive.

She had no income in 2021.

Like zilch. Like nada, niente, ne rien.

She is keeping body and soul together through her disabled son’s meager SSI payouts.

When the camera pans back, I see Marissa as a sociological phenomenon rather than as an individual human being, and I begin to understand why she so unlikeable.

How can anybody concentrate on charm or an agreeable demeanor when their life is such an ongoing tooth-and-claw struggle to eke out a marginal existence?

I’m meeting with Lois Lane tomorrow to see if we can figure out a way to subsidize driving school for Marissa. A learner’s permit will avail Marissa naught unless she can actually get driving lessons. And driving lessons cost $1,400.

I’m thinking of setting up a GoFundMe.

But I have to think through the ethics around that.

Like is it a form of extortion to draw the attention of the Literacy Connections community to the existence of a GoFundMe for Marissa? What about all those other deserving members of the Literacy Connections community who don't have GoFundMes set up for them? But if I don’t hit up the Literacy Connection community, then who do I hit up?

Comments

[pritkiy_kaban]

>> But I’m sure these fascinating choices would seem very boring to other people

They probably would...but so would be choices those other people tend to ponder.

E.g. it took me a considerable amount of self-control to stop milling in front of grocery store. To get some chak-chak and oatmeal cookies to go with coffee, or not to get, that is a five-minute question.

(granted, I slept four hours and was groggy)

Or:

Should I consider driving to family's countryhouse to try cleaning its roof?
Perhaps snow would kill the roof, smashing it in.
But then perhaps it won't, the roof has seen worser loads.
But maybe some snow will fall and rip apart the main AC supply line going into house.
And maybe not, cause quarter-inch aluminium multistrand is notably resilient and probably would cut any snow unlucky to fall on it.
Then there is traffic, clogged roads never cleaned properly, and I am absolutely not in shape for a couple of dogfight-like driving.
But then, what if...

See, you are even! :) I suppose humans are, for most part, not very entertaining beings to observe.

[mallorys_camera]

Yes, it's probably true that everybody's internal processing is equally boring. 😀

[asakiyume]

Wakanomori was telling me Hot Happenings from the local university, and one involved a Chinese student, a woman, and an abuse situation, and the courts, and for a hot second I thought it was your student--before I realized, no: someone getting ESL tutoring in NY is not simultaneously enrolled at university in MA, most probably.

Yeah, that's a tricky one, re: the Literacy Connections. You could hit up your DW/LJ community. I'd donate. Not a huge amount, but something.

Re: your story, yeah--you'll have to figure out what it is about Jean that June is drawn to (or drawn to you your version of Jean and June).

[mallorys_camera]

Hmmmm. Does this mean I should be more discreet in writing about the abuse situation? But the names and circumstances have been heavily, heavily disguised. 😀

This is a crazy bad time for writing. I'm not motivated to anything much besides lie in bed, eat hazelnut chocolate bonbons, and watch The Real Housewives.

I mean—I force myself to do other things. But I can't say my heart is in it. 😀

[asakiyume]

No, you're super discreet! No worries!

I just mean it gets awkward in terms of expectations and so on if one person has a fundraiser set up for them. But you could do it on the quiet and we, your loyal readers, would donate!

[mallorys_camera]

Turns out there are a couple of grants available that would pay for driving lessons and the purchase of a used vehicle.

Lois Lane will be working on those next week.

[asakiyume]

That's excellent--much better.