The Horse Worshippers of Hollow Road

[mallorys_camera]

Yesterday’s Big Laugh, courtesy of the National Counting Project: Are you interested in enumerating in southern states for the rest of the month?

What, I ask you, could be more fun than getting doors slammed in your face throughout Alabama and Mississippi where the morning humidity index hovers near 83%?

Let’s see…

Getting splinters forced into your fingernail beds?

Listening to Justin Bieber?

Having sex with Donald Trump?

I didn’t bother responding to the text.

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Yesterday’s adventures took me to places I’d never been before—like the strange hill settlements along Hollow Road where, apparently, they worship horses:





Then it was off to Staatsburg. Parts of Staatsburg I’d never seen before! Parts of Staatsburg that apparently are inhabited by two tribes: people who’ve lived there all their lives and rich New York City-ites, squatting in their second homes ‘cause covid. The former live in mobile homes; the latter in much-renovated 19th century fairy palaces.

The tribes fly the flags of their distant gods, Trump and Biden, and do not like each other much at all.

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If only the National Counting Project would keep sending me to places I’ve never seen before, I’d do it forever.

Alas! They keep sending me back to the—ugh—Section 8 housing tracts, which fill me with existential despair.

Confidential to the National Counting Project! These mooks are never gonna grant me that 10-minute interview that will complete their National Counting Project surveys! No matter how much I entreat, cajole or try to explain that their food stamps and Medicaid—yes, yes, a presumption on my part! But a presumption with fair betting odds—depends upon it.