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JFK was all about grabbing women by their pussies.

I’m not sure about LBJ. I never thought sex was much of a motivating factor for LBJ. I’d guess when he needed it, he paid for it and tipped well.

Nixon? Hmmm. Again, don’t think sex was a huge motivator there. Did you know that Nixon was the only President to go into psychoanalysis while he was in the White House? And that he earned his way through college playing poker? (I will confess to having a secret sympathy for Tricky Dick.)

Jerry Ford? Nah.

Ronald Reagan? Nah. In his randy younger days, he probably got pussy on a platter, and by all accounts, after he married Nancy, he was quite uxorious.

Jimmy Carter? Lust in his heart, but no.

The older Bush? Probably. At Yale.

Bill Clinton? Sure. We have it on record.

Dubywa Bush? Nah. Dry drunks aren’t about grabbing pussy.

Obama? He likes pussy, but he also likes consensus.

###

Grabbing pussy.

This isn’t about sex. It’s about the type of humping you see dogs do for dominance. It establishes a social hierarchy. Any orgasm is incidental. The payoff is really the imposition of your will on someone who’s forced to play along.

###

Of course, the Clinton camp timed the hot mic leak for the latest Wikileaks disclosures. There is such a bias against people who have led successful and/or complicated lives, Mrs. Clinton coos seductively to her close personal friend Goldman Sachs’ CEO in an email.

And in one of the $250,000 speeches: I’m kind of far removed because the life I’ve lived and the economic, you know, fortunes that my husband and I now enjoy. I am not taking a position on any policy, but I do think there is a growing sense of anxiety and even anger in the country over the feeling that the game is rigged…

When I was a senator from New York, I represented and worked with so many talented principled people who made their living in finance. But even though I represented them and did all I could to make sure they continued to prosper, I called for closing the carried interest loophole and addressing skyrocketing CEO pay…

If everybody’s watching, you know, all of the back room discussions and the deals, you know, then people get a little nervous, to say the least. So, you need both a public and a private position.


###

Well, hey. At least we know the candidates are capable of being honest, right? When they think they’re off the record.

###

Pretty sure pussy-grabbing puts the final nail in the coffin of the Trump candidacy. He doesn’t recover from this one. Pussy-grabbing is just a so much more graphic image than Wall Street pandering. After all, 53% of the American electorate have pussies! We don’t like it when someone tries to grab them. Relatively few members of the electorate have ties to Wall Street. Oh, yeah, sure – some of us have pension funds that are invested in stocks. But it’s a pretty abstract connection.

You really have to wonder what’s wrong with the Republican Party. Hillary Clinton is one of the most unpopular Democratic candidates ever to run for the Presidency. The Repubs had a real shot at the gold ring this year.

###

I’m so burned out on this election. Wow, social media person! Your constant blithering about your candidate of choice and repostings of political articles from obscure websites have really made me change my mind! I now see that the candidate I support is a complete idiot, and I'm changing my vote!

Ha, ha, ha.

What I’ve noticed is that there’s a deep Jungian dimension to all the election blather. When people become this emotionally polarized, they’re dealing in archetypes; the Other – whether it be Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump – metamorphoses into the Shadow, the dark, unknown, repudiated sides of one’s personality. The Shadow is comprised of choices that are not made, and is very dangerous to the Persona, which is a distillation of the choices that have been made.

###

I wasn’t gonna watch the debates tonight. But now I’m convinced that Der Donald is gonna have a complete meltdown, have to be led out by his handlers. And who would want to miss that? Will he start ranting about his precious bodily fluids or will he play obsessively with his tiny steel balls?

Anyway, I sit here on this rainy morning -- Patrizia, are you grieving? Over Goldengrove unleaving? -- trying to figure out the rules of the drinking game. I’m inclined to go with conspiracy – both candidates! A risky move, I know! I could end the evening completely sober. But I could also get drunker than I ever have before in my entire life.
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