Hard Frost
Dec. 4th, 2013 07:56 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mallorys_cameraWent through yesterday in an absolute funk. Seasonal Affective Disorder kicking my ass. This is the hardest time of the year for me, these six weeks between the beginning of daylight savings time and the winter equinox. After December 21, it gets easier even though the quality of the light doesn't change because I know intellectually that the days are getting longer...
Meanwhile, there's the creep. I'm filled with weakness, trembling, longing. I'm paralyzed. This is not your beautiful wife. My mantra becomes: It's-only-brain-chemistry. It's-only-brain-chemistry.
Flew into this absolute rage last night because Annie is giving Max her Volvo. I mean -- what's up with that? But all I could think was: Why don't you miss me? I'm not there.
My actions. My choice.
Hard frost on the ground this morning though it isn't really that cold. I've been reading Alice Munro who has the amazing talent of being able to write novels that are only 20 pages long. Struggling with dialogue for the scene where Christopher jumps out the window. What do people say when they jump out windows? I keep hearing L.P. Hartley's voice: You flew too near the sun, and you got burned. (Except that the actual L.P. Harley quote is: "You few too near to the sun, and you were scorched." Somewhat less evocative. Did Pinter change this for the movie, which I have to say, I remember better than the book?)
Christopher is parading in Ybel's underwear. He's not gay; he's not a cross-dresser. There are candles burning in the room. It's a second story flat in an apartment on Telegraph Avenue in North Oakland. On the ground floor is a shop that advertises, "The Independent Driving School," though it really sells porn.
It's night. They're listening to the Who's Tommy.
But what does Christopher say?
Meanwhile, there's the creep. I'm filled with weakness, trembling, longing. I'm paralyzed. This is not your beautiful wife. My mantra becomes: It's-only-brain-chemistry. It's-only-brain-chemistry.
Flew into this absolute rage last night because Annie is giving Max her Volvo. I mean -- what's up with that? But all I could think was: Why don't you miss me? I'm not there.
My actions. My choice.
Hard frost on the ground this morning though it isn't really that cold. I've been reading Alice Munro who has the amazing talent of being able to write novels that are only 20 pages long. Struggling with dialogue for the scene where Christopher jumps out the window. What do people say when they jump out windows? I keep hearing L.P. Hartley's voice: You flew too near the sun, and you got burned. (Except that the actual L.P. Harley quote is: "You few too near to the sun, and you were scorched." Somewhat less evocative. Did Pinter change this for the movie, which I have to say, I remember better than the book?)
Christopher is parading in Ybel's underwear. He's not gay; he's not a cross-dresser. There are candles burning in the room. It's a second story flat in an apartment on Telegraph Avenue in North Oakland. On the ground floor is a shop that advertises, "The Independent Driving School," though it really sells porn.
It's night. They're listening to the Who's Tommy.
But what does Christopher say?
