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mallorys_cameraExcept now more things are going wrong with the car.
On Friday, it lurched and slowed on the way back to the cement bungalow. I was just grateful that the malfunction happened on an isolated country road and not in town. Clogged oil filter, I thought. Or maybe the new fuel pump was too healthy – like transplanting Jeremy Lim’s heart into the ancient, sagging carcass of Rupert Murdoch: the pressure differential was simply too much for the old girl. Old automobiles achieve a kind of functional homeostasis, you know. If you do too much maintenance, it fucks the balance up.
But no. Yesterday when I took it for a test drive, the “check engine” light started blinking. Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn. Also fuck.
My research pointed in the direction of something called a coilpack, part of the ignition system. Will attempt to get the poor old girl to NAPA auto supply in Dryden tomorrow to get the codes scanned and proceed from there.
Automotive dysfunction comes at exactly the wrong time what with anxiety attacks over the pending move, and all the things that have to get done, and all the $$$ that has to get made.
To cheer myself up, I think happy thoughts like:
Hey! You’re not taking a shower at Auschwitz!
Hey! Your clitoris wasn’t surgically removed at birth!
Hey! You have more fashion choices than, “Beige burka or khaki burka?”
Hey! You weren’t recently diagnosed with Stage IV cancer, nor was your husband just in a horrible bike accident that destroyed half his brain. Several of my acquaintances actually are in these situations.
Who are these people for whom life is easy? I mean, I see them on the street all the time. But I don’t know any of them. I’m forced to conclude that they’re robots deployed to provide background clamor.
###
Then there was the Facebook IPO. Personally, I think the Facebook IPO was a huge success, given that the company doesn’t actually have a product it’s selling. I mean – what? How many billions of dollars did the company raise from snake oil alone? Lots and lots of billions. That is success.
I’m not sure how one goes about monetizing Facebook frankly. The killer apps in this context, obviously, are apps that would let you spy on old lovers and celebrities. But there’s absolutely no legitimate way to do that, of course.
One of the smartest things FB ever did was to become a gaming platform. In another decade, the digital revolution is going to shake out into just two electronic devices: game consoles and smartphones. I suspect the smartphones will be closer in size to today’s digital tablets and the clothing pockets will change to accommodate them.
###
Two scenes I will always think of years from now if my mind happens to wander back to my time in this place. The fairy dell that for two weeks every spring is alive with spring flowers – are they phlox or Dame’s Rocket, I wonder? And the swamp with the drowned forest. I think the beavers drowned the forest, but I’m not sure.
On Friday, it lurched and slowed on the way back to the cement bungalow. I was just grateful that the malfunction happened on an isolated country road and not in town. Clogged oil filter, I thought. Or maybe the new fuel pump was too healthy – like transplanting Jeremy Lim’s heart into the ancient, sagging carcass of Rupert Murdoch: the pressure differential was simply too much for the old girl. Old automobiles achieve a kind of functional homeostasis, you know. If you do too much maintenance, it fucks the balance up.
But no. Yesterday when I took it for a test drive, the “check engine” light started blinking. Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn. Also fuck.
My research pointed in the direction of something called a coilpack, part of the ignition system. Will attempt to get the poor old girl to NAPA auto supply in Dryden tomorrow to get the codes scanned and proceed from there.
Automotive dysfunction comes at exactly the wrong time what with anxiety attacks over the pending move, and all the things that have to get done, and all the $$$ that has to get made.
To cheer myself up, I think happy thoughts like:
Hey! You’re not taking a shower at Auschwitz!
Hey! Your clitoris wasn’t surgically removed at birth!
Hey! You have more fashion choices than, “Beige burka or khaki burka?”
Hey! You weren’t recently diagnosed with Stage IV cancer, nor was your husband just in a horrible bike accident that destroyed half his brain. Several of my acquaintances actually are in these situations.
Who are these people for whom life is easy? I mean, I see them on the street all the time. But I don’t know any of them. I’m forced to conclude that they’re robots deployed to provide background clamor.
Then there was the Facebook IPO. Personally, I think the Facebook IPO was a huge success, given that the company doesn’t actually have a product it’s selling. I mean – what? How many billions of dollars did the company raise from snake oil alone? Lots and lots of billions. That is success.
I’m not sure how one goes about monetizing Facebook frankly. The killer apps in this context, obviously, are apps that would let you spy on old lovers and celebrities. But there’s absolutely no legitimate way to do that, of course.
One of the smartest things FB ever did was to become a gaming platform. In another decade, the digital revolution is going to shake out into just two electronic devices: game consoles and smartphones. I suspect the smartphones will be closer in size to today’s digital tablets and the clothing pockets will change to accommodate them.
Two scenes I will always think of years from now if my mind happens to wander back to my time in this place. The fairy dell that for two weeks every spring is alive with spring flowers – are they phlox or Dame’s Rocket, I wonder? And the swamp with the drowned forest. I think the beavers drowned the forest, but I’m not sure.
