Snow

[mallorys_camera]

It's not laziness. And though it's true I'm busy all the time (literally!), day and night, never an unoccupied moment, it's not overwork either.

It's more… I feel as though I'm trudging through snowdrifts. And the numbness is beginning to set in. The numbness is not unpleasant; it would be easy to drift off into it. It would be easy to let go. Except I can't do that to Robin. I have to get Robin to the other side, to the point where he can start living his own independent life.

I suppose I'm depressed.

Too bad I'm not an alcoholic.

Not for the first time I'm wishing I had a real family. Someone I could go to and say, "Help me please. I'm dying."

In other news, I'm trying to figure out the Bear Sterns liquidity crisis and why it's having such a salutary effect on the stock market, which really should be tanking.

And the Bea Tea Faerie brought me Don't Look Now, which remains the most amazingly perfect horror movie. All great art can be distilled into a single archetypal image. In fact that may be what defines art. In Don't Look Now, that image is obviously a stunted stalker in a red plastic raincoat. But there are other compelling images too: the image above is Julie Christie going to pieces – literally and figuratively – after she meets the blind psychic for the first time.

Time for me to don my snowshoes and Gortex.