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Feb. 6th, 2007
Hitting Bottom
Feb. 6th, 2007 09:04 amSo, it turns out that someone at the hospital transposed some numbers on the death certificate and this is the reason why the various insta-funds have not been disbursed: Nancy isn't scheduled to die till 2070. It's kind of that anonymous clerk to put her on a schedule – most of us don't have the luxury of knowing the exact moment, thus we miss out on myriad opportunities to rectify our bad behavior before it's too late.
Except, fuckers – she's already dead!
Yes, I know – I'm the most venal person in the world. And you know what? You would be too if you were in my situation.
My life is a mess.
Temptation is to lie down in it. Bury my head in the mud, in the shit.
But what possible good would that accomplish?
There's a timeline in place – in a month it will all be better.
Yes, I know – I said that last month. And I may say that again next month.
But, you know, it's nothing that money wouldn't solve – and money is an abstract concept, it's not real, say, the way a tumor is real. And it doesn't protect you from tumors either.
Money is sea shells, that woman -- Jean -- in my Judaism For Dummies class told me. If her cancer went out of remission – as I suspect it did – she's probably dead.
Except, fuckers – she's already dead!
Yes, I know – I'm the most venal person in the world. And you know what? You would be too if you were in my situation.
My life is a mess.
Temptation is to lie down in it. Bury my head in the mud, in the shit.
But what possible good would that accomplish?
There's a timeline in place – in a month it will all be better.
Yes, I know – I said that last month. And I may say that again next month.
But, you know, it's nothing that money wouldn't solve – and money is an abstract concept, it's not real, say, the way a tumor is real. And it doesn't protect you from tumors either.
Money is sea shells, that woman -- Jean -- in my Judaism For Dummies class told me. If her cancer went out of remission – as I suspect it did – she's probably dead.