Potemkin Provocations
Feb. 17th, 2024 10:27 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mallorys_cameraI’m seriously thinking about tracking down a therapist.
To help me come to terms with the fact that my younger kid consistently makes bad choices.
That there’s nothing I can do that will prevent him from making bad choices.
That there’s nothing I can say that will prevent him from making bad choices—even though, as y’all know, my own life choices have consistently been outstanding, and I’m just here cosplaying an old lady living in Trumplandia, on an-ostensibly-fixed-but-really-shrinking (thanks, inflation!) income, when in reality I am a billionaire, heir to the mighty DiLucchio cough drop fortune, living in a fabulous $55-million McMansion, two boat slips away from Julio Iglesias who really should mow his lagoon more often.
###
The heartache feels so unbearable that I fantasize about cutting him off entirely—which is what I so often do when the heartache gets unbearable.
I think it would really be psychotic to cut him off.
So, I have to figure out a way to live with the fact that he makes bad choices, continue to love him, continue to hope he learns to make better choices.
And not blame myself.
‘Cause I’m his mother, right?
And if only I’d been a good mother, he’d be making good choices.
###
Meanwhile, when fever time rolled around yesterday, mine was only 99°.
I got a lot of Useful Work done before fever time.
And afterward, I showered, changed pajamas—thanks,lookfar—and watched Oppenheimer.
I liked Oppenheimer a lot. Far more than I’d anticipated liking it.
###
Oppenheimer is about secrets. The various physical, political, & mental compartmentalization processes by which secrets are kept.
These days, you can be certain that most of what makes it into the mainstream media are what one might call Potemkin provocations.
Plucky Ukraine has the upper hand over Russia because… Well. They’re plucky! Plus, the Russian fighters are all paroled convicts or hired mercenaries whose hearts aren’t really in the cause.
Israel is invading Gaza in retribution for a Hamas massacre!
But secrets seem impossible to keep.
Thus, we know (though we may not know how we know) Ukraine is gonna lose to Russia because the profits from U.S. munitions manufacturing weren’t enough to lift the U.S. out of recession—even after the Biden administration changed the definition of “recession.”
And persistent dribbles of information suggest that Israeli intelligence knew about the Hamas attack in advance & had been looking for an excuse to wipe out Gaza. (It’s always disheartening when you realize the only thing genocide survivors learn is that genocide is effective, no?)
###
Oppenheimer is well-nigh LeCarré-ian in its treatment of secrets, which is high praise: LeCarré is one of my very, very favorite writers.
The scenes with the strange, enigmatic Pash; the relationship depicted between Oppenheimer and his protector, General Groves; the dick-ish Teller; the born-again Borden (converted mid-bombing mission by an overly bright German missile) are particularly intriguing.
Oppenheimer deserves all the critical praise it’s received.
The little-seen Beau is Afraid remains my favorite film of 2023.
But Oppenheimer is a close second.
###
Of course, the Oppenheimer of this movie is a double agent. His loyalties are torn—not between the U.S. & Russia but between a just war (and if any war can be labeled “just,” WWII was just) and the continuing existence of the planet—which, I suppose, is just a wordy way of saying pacificism.
It’s hard to envision how humans as brilliant as Oppenheimer can remain so clueless about the primate territorial urge, but clueless Oppenheimer remained. What did Prometheus think the other Titans would do with the fire he gave them anyway?
To help me come to terms with the fact that my younger kid consistently makes bad choices.
That there’s nothing I can do that will prevent him from making bad choices.
That there’s nothing I can say that will prevent him from making bad choices—even though, as y’all know, my own life choices have consistently been outstanding, and I’m just here cosplaying an old lady living in Trumplandia, on an-ostensibly-fixed-but-really-shrinking (thanks, inflation!) income, when in reality I am a billionaire, heir to the mighty DiLucchio cough drop fortune, living in a fabulous $55-million McMansion, two boat slips away from Julio Iglesias who really should mow his lagoon more often.
###
The heartache feels so unbearable that I fantasize about cutting him off entirely—which is what I so often do when the heartache gets unbearable.
I think it would really be psychotic to cut him off.
So, I have to figure out a way to live with the fact that he makes bad choices, continue to love him, continue to hope he learns to make better choices.
And not blame myself.
‘Cause I’m his mother, right?
And if only I’d been a good mother, he’d be making good choices.
###
Meanwhile, when fever time rolled around yesterday, mine was only 99°.
I got a lot of Useful Work done before fever time.
And afterward, I showered, changed pajamas—thanks,
lookfar—and watched Oppenheimer.I liked Oppenheimer a lot. Far more than I’d anticipated liking it.
###
Oppenheimer is about secrets. The various physical, political, & mental compartmentalization processes by which secrets are kept.
These days, you can be certain that most of what makes it into the mainstream media are what one might call Potemkin provocations.
Plucky Ukraine has the upper hand over Russia because… Well. They’re plucky! Plus, the Russian fighters are all paroled convicts or hired mercenaries whose hearts aren’t really in the cause.
Israel is invading Gaza in retribution for a Hamas massacre!
But secrets seem impossible to keep.
Thus, we know (though we may not know how we know) Ukraine is gonna lose to Russia because the profits from U.S. munitions manufacturing weren’t enough to lift the U.S. out of recession—even after the Biden administration changed the definition of “recession.”
And persistent dribbles of information suggest that Israeli intelligence knew about the Hamas attack in advance & had been looking for an excuse to wipe out Gaza. (It’s always disheartening when you realize the only thing genocide survivors learn is that genocide is effective, no?)
###
Oppenheimer is well-nigh LeCarré-ian in its treatment of secrets, which is high praise: LeCarré is one of my very, very favorite writers.
The scenes with the strange, enigmatic Pash; the relationship depicted between Oppenheimer and his protector, General Groves; the dick-ish Teller; the born-again Borden (converted mid-bombing mission by an overly bright German missile) are particularly intriguing.
Oppenheimer deserves all the critical praise it’s received.
The little-seen Beau is Afraid remains my favorite film of 2023.
But Oppenheimer is a close second.
###
Of course, the Oppenheimer of this movie is a double agent. His loyalties are torn—not between the U.S. & Russia but between a just war (and if any war can be labeled “just,” WWII was just) and the continuing existence of the planet—which, I suppose, is just a wordy way of saying pacificism.
It’s hard to envision how humans as brilliant as Oppenheimer can remain so clueless about the primate territorial urge, but clueless Oppenheimer remained. What did Prometheus think the other Titans would do with the fire he gave them anyway?
no subject
Date: 2024-02-18 03:25 am (UTC)Ugh.
Sorry about your son :(
no subject
Date: 2024-02-18 05:57 am (UTC)Sorry R is making bad decisions ... I understand that heartache.
no subject
Date: 2024-02-18 02:01 pm (UTC)How do you handle it?
no subject
Date: 2024-02-18 02:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-02-18 02:08 pm (UTC)...I'm not sure that counts as handling it though.
I try to tell myself that they will manage to keep body and soul together, even if their process is one that puts my heart in my mouth. I worry particularly about the ninja girl and the healing angel... so my most recent advice issuing was to the group of them, that they had to have each other's backs and support each other throughout life. But I remember being given this advice at their age and just shrugging, so..
no subject
Date: 2024-02-18 02:13 pm (UTC)So, I've gotta figure out a better coping strategy.
no subject
Date: 2024-02-19 01:08 am (UTC)Well said. I can't doubt that important parts of the Israeli government had foreknowledge of it, and thus purposefully went lax, to use it as a catalyst. They had a plan to wipe out Gaza, voiced it, and to great horror, have been executing that plan in plain sight at a seemingly unstoppable pace.
Perfection
Date: 2024-02-19 09:17 am (UTC)Tremendous comment!
Re your son, honestly, had you been some kind of perfect Mom, he might well have made bad choices out of sheer exasperation. No-one listens to the perfect unless they're famous, and no-one ever got famous through being perfect.
Re: Perfection
Date: 2024-02-19 11:43 am (UTC)Situation with the offspring is very complicated. But I can't do anything for him unless he realizes he needs big-time help, and thus far, he is in denial about that fact.
no subject
Date: 2024-02-19 11:45 am (UTC)Of course, Putin & Netanyahu are both old men who will die soon. Though the people who come next could be worse, I suppose.