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Dec. 6th, 2005 09:27 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mallorys_cameraNaturally since I live the life of a pampered goddess with endless vistas of untenanted time to fritter away on my obsessions, I spent yesterday watching every single episode of Season 5 of America's Next Top Model (which I'd blackmailed Ben into taping for me.)
Except every half hour or so, I'd fall into this fugue state wherein it seemed I was the owner of a failing business on commercially – and spiritually! – bankrupt Cannery Row in the quaint and scenic seaside village of Monterey, California. When these fits came down, I'd have to scurry off into my office and perform magic tricks. Trick number one: how do you pay $7200 worth of bills with $5400 in cash? Trick number two: the HTML layout you spent hours and hours laboring over on your Mac actually looks like shit with the same browser on a PC. How do you tweak it so it comes out right?
Pulled that second rabbit out of the hat. Dunno what I'm gonna do about that first. Ever hear a rabbit scream? It's painful.
Clearly, I need a vacation.
But ANTM is just so culturally complex and squirmy. Imagine if Mao Tse Tung had decided to transform China into a nation of supermodels and set his mad scientists to work cloning the Marquis de Sade to act as the project's advisor.
I got curious. Do any of these young women who squirm on their tummies through shit and stand for hours on tippy-toe while pigeons have sex in their hair ever really go on to lucrative careers? Well, "lucrative" is a relative term (except when it's applied to my business affairs.) God know that industry is a decentralized empire and there are thousands of mid-level catalog models making at least as much money as they might make working the same hours at a Dairy Queen or a newly opened call center. One runner-up just got cast in an X-Men sequel. Another runner-up keeps a delightful Live Journal about her adventures as a Hong Kong runway artiste.
Cannery Row is as dead as a cemetery. I'd anticipated that for January and February, but not in December. In addition to charging its tenants exorbitant rent, the Cannery Row Company also charges a sizeable monthly chunk o' cash for "advertising." As far as I can tell this holiday season, they are doing no advertising whatsoever. I keep a close watch on the mall ads – Del Monte, Capitola – and they're numerous on the relatively cheap cable networks and Clear Channel radio stations. But nothing whatsoever about Cannery Row. If I had any extra cash at all, I'd seriously consider sic-ing a lawyer on them, demanding an accounting for that cash.
Except every half hour or so, I'd fall into this fugue state wherein it seemed I was the owner of a failing business on commercially – and spiritually! – bankrupt Cannery Row in the quaint and scenic seaside village of Monterey, California. When these fits came down, I'd have to scurry off into my office and perform magic tricks. Trick number one: how do you pay $7200 worth of bills with $5400 in cash? Trick number two: the HTML layout you spent hours and hours laboring over on your Mac actually looks like shit with the same browser on a PC. How do you tweak it so it comes out right?
Pulled that second rabbit out of the hat. Dunno what I'm gonna do about that first. Ever hear a rabbit scream? It's painful.
Clearly, I need a vacation.
But ANTM is just so culturally complex and squirmy. Imagine if Mao Tse Tung had decided to transform China into a nation of supermodels and set his mad scientists to work cloning the Marquis de Sade to act as the project's advisor.
I got curious. Do any of these young women who squirm on their tummies through shit and stand for hours on tippy-toe while pigeons have sex in their hair ever really go on to lucrative careers? Well, "lucrative" is a relative term (except when it's applied to my business affairs.) God know that industry is a decentralized empire and there are thousands of mid-level catalog models making at least as much money as they might make working the same hours at a Dairy Queen or a newly opened call center. One runner-up just got cast in an X-Men sequel. Another runner-up keeps a delightful Live Journal about her adventures as a Hong Kong runway artiste.
Cannery Row is as dead as a cemetery. I'd anticipated that for January and February, but not in December. In addition to charging its tenants exorbitant rent, the Cannery Row Company also charges a sizeable monthly chunk o' cash for "advertising." As far as I can tell this holiday season, they are doing no advertising whatsoever. I keep a close watch on the mall ads – Del Monte, Capitola – and they're numerous on the relatively cheap cable networks and Clear Channel radio stations. But nothing whatsoever about Cannery Row. If I had any extra cash at all, I'd seriously consider sic-ing a lawyer on them, demanding an accounting for that cash.
