The 2023 Meme

2024-01-01T18:49:07Z

1. What did you do in 2023 that you'd never done before?

• I started taking my coffee black.

This may seem like a minor thing, but it had significant health effects. Almost immediately, I lost five pounds and a couple of inches of belly fat, plus my coffee consumption went wayyyy down because I don’t actually like black coffee. Now, I drink one cup of coffee to jumpstart the morning, and that’s typically it for the day.

• I saw Niagara Falls:

The Falls are impressive!

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I don’t make New Year’s resolutions.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Yes! A dear friend of mine (you know who you are! 😀) gave birth to the second-most beautiful baby boy in the history of humans on Planet Earth. (The first-most beautiful baby boys are a tie between Ichabod and RTT.)

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Yes.

• My sweet little cat Sybyl died. I suppose some people might quibble over whether companion animals count as “anyone.” Not me.

Sybyl was smart, sleek, arrogant, and perceptive. And she chose me. She was about four years old when I adopted her, and eight when she died. She could already stand on her back legs when I brought her home—a feat that was easy for her to accomplish, I guess, because she was so very tiny for a cat—but I taught her how to wave her front paws around while she was standing up, a trick I called “conducting the orchestra.”

I miss her. I can’t even write about her without my eyes tearing up.

• My pal Stephen

Stephen was the first person I hired in my capacity as People Online editor. He was Best Friends with Alice Turner, then the fiction editor at Playboy, and I was one of Alice’s proteges. Hiring Stephen was a way to demonstrate my gratitude to Alice because, as it turned out, I was too inexperienced a writer to turn my stories into something that would work for Playboy despite all the editorial input she wasted on me.

Canny in the ways of surviving mainstream media’s frequent slash & burn campaigns—he’d written for the New York Post for like forever and was an adjunct professor of journalism at Columbia University—Stephen survived my own tenure at People by more than 20 years. He was smart enough to keep his head down; I was not.

We were good pals, but there was definitely a level beneath which pal-hood did not penetrate—I think because he was circumspect, and in those days, I was not. Like he had a lot of fabulously rich old lady friends, widows of Hollywood producers or Hollywood lawyers or Hollywood accountants, and I once offended him deeply by calling him a “walker.”

Well, I mean, he was a walker in the true Nancy Reagan kitchen cabinet sense of the word! And back then I didn’t see how the term could possibly offend! It did offend, of course (for reasons I understand now) though the offense made no difference to our friendship because, like I say, our friendship, though broad, did not go super deep.

After I moved to New York, we’d have lunch maybe once a year. But mostly I kept up with Stephen on social media. Stephen was a prolific and adept social media user.

In the middle of the summer, it occurred to me I hadn’t seen Stephen on social media in quite a while. I sent him a couple of emails: Whad up, dude? I didn’t hear back. This was weird: Stephen was punctilious about answering emails. But really, we weren’t close enough for me to feel comfortable calling him up on a real live telephone.

Then in September, our mutual pal Rob H_____—once the most successful unit publicist in Hollywood—told me Stephen was dead.

WTF??????

There was supposed to be a memorial for Stephen coinciding with the publication of his last book, a Stephen Sondheim bio. The book came out, but the memorial never happened.

5. What countries did you visit?

Guatemala, Canada.

6. What would you like to have in 2023 that you lacked in 2023?

I always want more money!

7. What date(s) from 2023 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

• April 11th: The day Max took me to visit Maximon, the last of the Mayan gods. Not coincidently, also my birthday.

• Sept 23: The day I had to put Sybyl to sleep.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Finishing Odi et Ami It Is, Then. It really is a successful short story. Alice Turner would have loved it. Though she wouldn’t have bought it for Playboy.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Not finishing anything else.

Could be “writer’s block,” I suppose. Or possibly connected to the fact that I am writing an enormous amount, only it’s economic analysis, not fiction. Once I pound out the daily quota of Remunerative prose, I really don’t want to plant myself in front of a keyboard for another five hours. Or maybe wanting to tell other people’s stories is something you age out of. I dunno.

10. Did you suffer any illness or injury?

I’m very healthy for my age. I did have more flare-ups of the autoimmune disease this year than last. Maybe that’s something you age into.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Can’t remember buying anything!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

My kids were really loving & supportive this year. And BB’s behavior is always celebratory.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

I’m a little ashamed of myself for this, but Linda’s. I’m ashamed because I know it was the disease process talking when Linda got so vicious. So, I should forgive her, right? Only I don’t. I suppose because she’s made me feel unsafe.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Traveling, rent, food, vet bills, car repairs.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Traveling anywhere always excites me. Even if it’s only an overnight in the big city.

16. What song will always remind you of 2023?

Can’t think of one.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) Happier or sadder? Sadder.
b) Thinner or fatter? Thinner.
c) Richer or poorer? Richer.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Writing. Traveling. Exercising.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Having panic attacks. Feeling sorry for myself.

20. How did you spend:

a) Thanksgiving?

BoyZ & I did Destination Turkey Week in Washington D.C. We had a fabulous time! On Thanksgiving itself, we did Peking duck and a really delicious soup at a Chinese restaurant.

b) Christmas?

BB & I did the traditional Jewish Christmas meal at a Chinese restaurant:

Afterwards, we went to see The Boy and the Heron.

21. How did you spend New Year’s?

Reading Kitty Kelley’s Frank Sinatra bio aloud to the kiskas. I fell asleep before midnight.

22. Did you fall in love in 2023?

I did not. Although I feel more open to falling in love than I did last year.

23. How many one-night stands?

::SNORT:: 😀

24. What was your favorite TV program?

Starstruck.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

Hatred is such a waste of time.

26. What was the best book you read?

Probably The Invisible Circus, the novel Jennifer Egan wrote before she discovered post-modernism.

But I also really liked Elena Ferrante’s Neapolitan novels: My Brilliant Friend, The Story of a New Name, Those Who Leave and Those Who Stay, and The Story of the Lost Child.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Didn’t make any.

28. What did you want and get?

Two new kiska friends, Molly & Mabel.

29. What did you want and not get?

I wanted to travel to either Vietnam, India, or Egypt last fall. But for one reason or another, that didn’t happen—and from a financial point of view, that’s probably a good thing.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?

Ari Aster’s Beau Is Afraid, which got no ❤️LUV❤️ from anyone on the planet except me & Ichabod.

Poor Things was a close second. Poor Things is kind of a steampunk, X-rated Barbie.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

Ichabod arranged a private audience for me with Maximon!!!! It was fabulous! And we spent the rest of the day floating around Santiago Atitlán, a gritty yet strangely dreamlike little city. I love Guatemala.

I turned 71.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Spending more time with people I really care about.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2023?

Dress like a bag lady, but always wear eye makeup.

34. What kept you sane?

This question assumes that I am sane. 😀

But I suppose I stay sane because I have a very strong superego that always pulls me back from the depths of despair.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Tom Burke. He plays Cormoran Strike in the miniseries made from the J.K.-Galbraith-writing-as-Robert-Galbraith detective novels:

36. What political issue stirred you the most?

Gaza. There is no solution. Israel, through its own actions, is guaranteeing its own destruction. That destruction is on a 25-year time delay, but it’s gonna to happen: Netanyahu is making that inevitable.

37. Who did you miss?

Sybyl.

38. Who was the best new person you met?

TaxBwana Linda!!!!

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2023

An oldie but goodie that gets truer every year:

"What it boils down to is putting one’s feelings on a special plane; most unwise, if you come to think of it. Because the bitter but true fact is that the only person who cares about one’s own feelings is ONE." —Jessica Mitford

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The 2023 Meme